38th - blog of the century

i'm at work. it's an IT day for me which means i press a few buttons and other than that sit on MSN and blog all day.

im really depressed. i'm going to talk about it. for those that gasped, yes, i'm going to talk about my feelings. try not to go into shock.

hadia - if you're going to call and ask me about this, i'm going to read this blog back to you.

there are lots of mitigating reasons for this bought of depression i'm going through. teenage angst might be one of those, even though i'm not a teenager. i never really went through an angst phase. you guys would know better than i would if i did or not. did i? the ones who've known me for a while. not the randoms.

however, if someone can explain the wee anxiety attacks [not full blown], that would be lovely.

as a quick note - thanks to all the people putting up with my random mood swings, being out of contact, etc.

i don't think i've ever been this upset about anything before. even when i'm alone or playing video games or part take in some other mind-numbing activity and push it all out of my mind, i feel shitty. even songs on the radio are managing to depress me.

this is not a healthy state of affairs for us.

yea, so this will probably be the last time i ever write a blog like this.


zq

37th - paranoid people think someone's out to get them. i'm not paranoid. i know someone's out to get me. i have names and details...

"look at this photograph / every time it makes me laugh / how did our eyes get to red / and what the hell is on joey's head"

this is an actual song. this is the opening verse to nickle back - photograph. up until now nickleback has been a mediocre to semi-amusing band but i think everyone reading here can agree, this was a new low. i'm not musically talented but i'm pretty sure if i pooed in my hand and flung it at all the wall, i might be able to get better lyrics than that.

another note - i'm a bit disappointed at the lack of part-taking in my last blog. it was such an wasy topic and as an added bonus, it would have caused such flaming. pity...

just got this news. my sister borrowed my car to go shopping or whatever. when she was leaving, she got in the car and was trying to start it but having little luck. she thought it was due to the half-key [the other hald is in the ignition] but after a few minutes of trying, she took in her surroundings and realized she was in someone else's car. priceless.

comments: [note - you is referring to me, not you]
one. you're so angry!
two. you've got a lot of bones to pick
three. you're blog isn't about anything. just you.
four. you're neurotic

one. cccording to some[one], i'm very angry. rest assured, i am not very angry or even angry. just mildly agitated. do i seem like an angry person. i know i rant and rave but it's only because i love and can't stand to see the things i see around me.

two. i do not! i'm just a keen observer of the world around me... ok, yea, he's probably right. he always is. bastard. i have a lot of bones to pick. which is why i have the blog. it's an outlet for my bone picking. it's relatively inoffensive and i get some interesting feedback from you guys.

three. let me make this very very clear just in case there was any doubt. my blog is about me and my selves. me, me, me, me, me, ME! clear enough?

i'm actually blogging because i'm on hold with customer service. "an associate will be with you in about two minutes. thank you for holding." they've got some strange concept of time. i've been on hold for about twenty minutes. sad part is, i've got a whole day of calls like this to make. after i'm done with these guys, i've got to call rogers and put up with their voice system. they billed me an extra 70 bucks for data. i have a data cable. you think i'm stupid enough to go use the stupid mobile browser?!?! then i gotta get some tires. as much fun as it is to drive around with bald tires, i think it's time i get some winters. then i get to call around looking for a bike model. i think i have some other stuff to do after that, but i don't remember.

four. SOMEONE had the nerve to call me neurotic. by definition, neurotic means, "a person prone to excessive anxiety and emotional upset" take a moment, does this sound like me? honestly, neurotic? i'm closer to psychotic that neurotic but even that's a stretch. there are so many things to describe me. neurotic isn't one of them.

IT'S SNOWING! i'm happy. i like snow.

ok - me go now.

be good


zq

36th - thought showers...

ok, i haven't blogged in a few days now and i know how all your lives are empty without the blog. the blog makes everything better.

these past few days have been strange for so many reasons. good and bad.

ok, i think i told most of you this anyway but here i go, you know, for the record. a formal campaign has began to officially change the term brain storm to thought shower because people with brain disorders may find the term offensive. i don't mean to be rude but people with brain disorders aren't concerned with the term brain storming and more concerned with major league baseball stealing their thoughts. obviously, someone had the urge to complain about something and this is what they came up with.

"there is no 'i' in team but there are two 'i's in vinita, so fu*k you!" this was vinita's msn name which made me chuckle a wee bit. i'm sure she was probably plenty pissed when she wrote that but it's still funny. i never got around to asking her about. it may be a long shot, but i don't think vin enjoys team work much.

speaking on vin. guelph is very pretty. i don't much care for small towns and stuff. but i was visitng vin and we went for a drive around guelph. we went through some woods and and drove through a creepy very texas-chainsaw-massacre-esque type wood path and then quickly reversed the hell out of it on count of a huge creepy dog. then we went to see this lake vin kept hearing about but never saw, so we went. that lake is wicked. we were driving around the park and we ended up taking the car right down to the end of the marina. it was very pretty. then we quickly left due to fear of being locked into the park. apparently, on sundays everything in guelph closes at 430. there was also food and serious stuff involved in the visit but we should all leave with the memory, guelph is pretty.

so, a couple of days ago i was in the basement and i got called up for some reason and i bolted up the stairs. before i made it to the stairs i blacked out [got up too fast, i guess] but i was determined to get up there and kept pushing onwards and upwards [and always twirling, twirling towards freedom! sorry] and SMACK! head first into the door. it hurt.

alright, this happened a few weeks ago and then it came up a few days ago and it's been a lingering thought for a long time before that. people who come from other nations to canada and then bitch about how things are so much better back there. i would like especially make reference to people from hong kong because they're the only ones who do this to me all the time at FS. i'll be working and some dude will come and start asking me questions about a camera. after a while he'll pull out his camera and tell me about how much better this camera he bought a few months ago is than anything available in the north american market and how hong kong is so much more up to date with technology and this and that, etc. once he's made his point about honk kong superiority, he'll move on to the next category and harass me for another 45 minutes. they do this all time and the entire time they give that i think i'm so much better than you are because i'm from hong kong look. i understand you're proud of where you come from so here's a thought. go back to hong kong you asshole. why exactly are you here? was being waited on hand and foot getting too bothersome for you? and no, people from hong kong are not the only people who are like but at least most other self-superior people like the arabs have the decency to just stay in motherlands and treat outsiders like shit. why the hell do these people who are so proud of their nations come here and try to forcibly make sure we're all aware that even though you're living here in canada with a quality of living much superior to where you came from, things back home are still better. we don't care. i'm happy to be here. most people are happy to be here. if you're so unhappy here go back. so go back to hong kong [or wherever the hell else you came from] and have your tiny little eight megapixel camera the size of your thumb and shove it up your ass. you were a king there, go be a king.

note - this is not saying everyone from hong kong or other proud nations is a bastard. this does however apply to most of you. and you all know who i'm talking about so i don't expect some uppity cry-baby comments about how i'm being racist on my blog. i used people from hong kong as an example and because they're the ones that do it most to me but that may be because i live in markam.

note 2 - to anyone who's suddenly offended because they've seen people from hong kong on tv or have a single friend who's from there and isn't anything like that and is feeling the need to bitch at me. i live in markham. i grew up with nothing but chinese kids and the odd brown/black/white one so don't give me some ignorant shit about how i'm being ignorant. you've been warned.

in conclusion, if you're proud of where you're from. good for you. if everything is better there. again, good for you. if you insist on wasting our time telling us about it while we're trying to work and acting like you're better than everyone else [even though you're living in canada], go home.

and lastly, i'm quitting FS. it's too much hassle for low pay. and peter pan, our new department manager is way better than the previous. his communication skills are perfect and he really makes you feel like he's there to help. very sincere sounding [and if you can fake that, you're set!], very easy to talk to but his jokes aren't funny and he doesn't get any of our jokes. but he's cool. still quitting though. i need my weekends for me time. also for play time and sleep time and circle box time. but mostly for me time.

"cause no way it's ok / to get jerked for low pay / have to serve and obey / it's all work and no play"


zq

p.s. props to cable who stood by his whiney opinion about super even though there was staggering support for bats. i declare bats wins. also, cable knows way more about comics than we do. all bow down to him. batman's still better though. sorry pal.

p.s. is it wrong to get people [friends, etc] to come in and buy fridges [120 dollar commison] and return them after i quit?

35th - unlimited doesn't mean endless...

people from rogers a bunch of shitheads. i want all of them, with the exception of three people that i know work for them who aren't bastards to be hung upside-down and taken advantage of by a large horse/shark type creature. twice. it'll be a different sensation each time. i'll deal with them today too.

so, a couple of days ago was haider's and bunty's birthday. happy birthday to them both. i was gonna blog on that day but never got around to it and i started this blog like three times and stopped because i just couldn't go on or something shiny caught my eye. by something shiny, i of course mean the game cube i've borrowed from amina. MARIO KART N-WORDS!!

over the past few days i reread most of my blog including the comments. i think this may have been the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me. "don't u now just feel a little more unoriginal than u already are?" i can't believe i didn't notice this zinger earlier on. this is the kind of thing that stays with you. i have no idea who this would be. it's just bitchy so that leads me to one person but she thinks blogs are so beneath her and people who have blogs are posers [i'm assuming posing to be people who keep journals] and trend whores [well, can't argue with that]. you know who you are.

ok, i wanted to mention this but i'm not sure how appropriate it would be and who's reading my blog. for all i know my dad is reading this to keep tabs on me. so i'm not gonna tell this story but i am gonna mention that i was very distracted at work yesterday. there was something i really wanted to see to but didn't. now, two of you know this story. don't spread it around or post it.

how many friggin people are in justice league unlimited. first one to give me a complete list gets a prize. same rules. must not be affiliated with DC in anyway, must live within fifteen minute driving range of me. but here's my actual question. half of them can fly, half of them can't. the ones that cant fly get jetted over to the site where they are needed. the others fly. now, i can't fly myself but i would assume flying requires some sort of effort [with the obvious exception of superman]. wouldn't they be friggin tired by the time they got to the site. and why is it that wonder woman, who can fly, flies the jet? and why does batman get his own private jet? yes, i know batman is the man [eat shit superman. batman has kicked your ass before and he'll do it again if you get uppity] but still, in the interest of equality. and i thought the justice league cartoon was for kids. wonder woman, while talking to the atom says, "i need both my hands" and sticks him in her cleavage and i could have sworn he had a grin on his face.

i know everyone has been sized up by someone but have you any of ever been sized up by a banker? i think it's more intrusive than getting a physical by someone who really enjoys their work. it's not fun. avoid it if you can.

alright, time to go do work.

later days


zq

p.s. there isn't enough flaming in the world.

34th - culting...

pictures [left] - november tenth, two thousand and five. trent doing his thing. these were done with 1 second shutters so they're a wee motion blurred. also, the grain is because the iso was set to 800, if you're gonna ask later.

hello all things living, dead and in-between!

this has been a really messed up week. it's been good and bad but mostly ended up being wicked!! note - i realize this choice in formatting wasn't the best idea but it's too late now. the blog must go on. we can over look this small hiccup. wow, i've got quite a few things to blog aboot right now.

the NIN concert was friggin incredible. so good. they really know how to do a show. death from above 1979 and queens of the stoneage were there as well but honestly, who really cares? concert was unreal. also, they've been declared the biggest band this year. album and tour wise. yes dori, that includes bigger than u2. spectacularly bigger. somebody make sure dori reads that.

picture [left] - i like this picture. i have no idea why it reminded of lenny kravitz. i apologize to all those people who wanna kill me for saying that. i think lenny's done that pose somewhere. stupid lenny kravitz! anyway, another picture of trent. you guys notice her shaved his head. i don't care but chicks seem to. the artist can't just be talented.

a lot of stupid shit happened this week included wednesday and thursday where i suddenly transformed into a blond chick. i destroyed a bunch of slides at work. i left some equipment on site [luckily the contractor saw it and picked it up] and i dropped a three hundred dollar lens. but all of that pales in comparison to the NIN concert, which was awesome, if i didn't mention it already.

picture [right] - ok, getting good pictures was hard considering we were in the 300s. but i like this picture the best. i also got some cool video.

last night, when i was driving home, i was on the 401. anyway, i was going around 120 when i hit one of those downhills and i wasn't paying attention and by the bottom of the hill i was going about 140ish and i realize and decide slowing down would be a good idea. i check behind me and i see these lights really close and this 4runner passes me. but not like vvvvvvoommmmmmmmm....but like VOOOOSHH *gone*! scared the shit out of me. suvs should not be able to go that fast. it's scary. i would be jam if he hit me and i don't like jam.

ok - i really should be getting ready for my shift at FS right now but i wanna finish blogging first. working from two to nine tonight. i don't want to, but i figure what the hell. new manager. might as well make a good impression. plus, his name is peter pan. plus, i get to harras anita for a few hours and i haven't gotten to do that in about two weeks.

picture [right] - i like this picture. its cool. those little yellow things are lighters.

speaking of anita and her doings. anita and my sister went to a meeting together which nadia was invited to by some woman at the bus stop. seriously, she needs to start being more paranoid. anyway, they went to this meeting with twenty to twenty-five people in some random location and it turned out to be a cult thing. hahahaha. how cool is that. my sister, the cultist. the same sister who gave me grief for an hour when i annouced that next year i will be starting my own cult just to see if i can. note - also, on that list is asmar's mom. she thinks i use my evil talents for good. i don't know if that possible. i have predisposition to evil behaviour.

picture [below] - maybe this was just a mistake i made. but look at his nose. what the hell is that?

last night, i got home a wee before two and around three, i figured its time for bed. someone disagreed with me. 330am, my phone rings. vin and her friend went out for burgers and their car wont start. it's sad that it's a double standard. if it was a guy, i would have gone, obviously, but i may have taken a bit more time to put on some socks and maybe grab a snack. i'm sorry. but none the less, so at 340, i leave home. turned out all the car needed was a boost. CAA memberships are important.

more clumsiness from me. i got home and went to asmar's house because i found some drink and i wanted her to try it. banana cola. i got there, parked, took my key out of the ignition and locked the doors and got out and closed the door to realize that i left my door key in my jacket pocket in my backseat. it's so embarrassing. that's twice i've done that. i need copies of my key. i had to call dad and get him to come over so i could use his CAA membership. sucked. he's not gonna let me forget that anytime soon.

we need more banana cola. i should have really bought more than one bottle.

ok, i should get to work. i'm not gonna be late.

be good.


zq

p.s. didn't have time to proof read this so ingore grammar and spelling. thanks

33rd - i couldn't decide between, "suck it caramilk ninjas!" or "peter pan replaces wicked witch of the fobs!"

picture [right] - how cute is she? today's photos are from eid. sacha took these pics. they turned out wicked.

hello all!

i feel good. ok, for some reason i feel a wee nervous. yea, i don't get it either. could it be the NIN concert? my impending doom? the fact that i had to loiter around FS today knowing that my department manager hates me and kept giving me looks while i was talking to the store manager? i dunno. i'll post when the feeling goes away. anyway, a few things.

one, why does my tiny car have the biggest keys possible? is it over compensating? i've noticed this with a lot of cars. tercels have the biggest keys. my dad's car however has tiny little wee keys. goes to show, guys design cars.

so, i'm really enjoying metric. i was bobbing along to dead disco all day which is sad because i know only six words from the song. nonetheless, thanks sacha.

GOOD NEWS - guess who isn't my department manager anymore. that's right. tammy. she mounted her broomstick and flew over to cash. she's their problem now. i feel bad for cash but i feel even better for me. our new manager is named, get this, peter pan. i wonder if he's heard all the jokes? i doubt it. ms. harder said the same thing ["welcome to geography. i am ms. harder. yes, i've heard all the jokes about my name. sexual or otherwise." "wanna bet" was my reply. yea, we didn’t get off on the right foot"

picture [left ] - more news. as most people already know, i've retired my camera for family events. but sacha is filling in the void of my genius photography work pretty quickly. punk.

MORE GOOD NEWS - arrested development is back. there were two brand new episodes on last night. of coruse, i missed them both but that's not the point. it's back so i'm not stuck with only one show to watch. also, prison break was on last night. mondays aren't that bad anymore.

BAD NEWS - i went to two different futureshops today and got wicked deals on my speakers. then i decided to only use one set of speakers. the second set requires custom work to install so not bothering with that. since i was supposed to get someone speakers for their birthday, i'm passing them along to them. see, a practical present. ok, that wasn't bad news. this was the bad news. i had to go to one FS to get the speakers and then to my FS to get them installed and they got swamped so my appointment got pushed to tomorrow after work.

picture [right] - i think this is the best picture out of the set. yes, i know her mouth is wide open but she's a baby. you can overlook that. this picture is the best one. there is no debate about it. who's going to dare challenge me on this? admitidly, the picture below of chicky and anisa is also very cute. she reminds me off boo from monsters inc for some reason. i brown version.

"those who can't, teach. those who can't teach, consult. guess which one i am.

anyway, new blogs to read. everyone check out the bookmarks on the side and visit these blogs. is there anyone's blog i'm missing.

more news - while driving on the 401 today, i figured out how the get the caramilk in the chocolate so neatly. now, i wanna see some ninjas. i'll reveal the secret in my next blog. yes, i have too much free time on my hands. suck it cadbury! the secret will be out soon.

picture [below] - more cuteness. you think i'm turning soft.

alright, so this was more of a news update than a blog. whatever, enjoy.

bye


zq


p.s. touchy people. should they be touched? or put up with? or touched again and again and again until they stop being so touchy or kill themselves, whatever comes first?

32nd - nobody out-crazies ophelia

hello all

it's 10am and its the start of another week. oh joy! i actually have been to work already only to find the contractors sitting around because the building superintendent didn't bother to give the residents notice because he didn't get paid his overtime yet. asshole. there are too many dependencies in this job. so now i'm home to pick up a few things and headed to the office in about 30 mins. i figured i might as well blog while i'm here.

before i go one. EID MUBARAK! and HAPPY DIWALI! i meant to blog on those two days but never got around to it. didn't do much for diwali. eid however was fun. had [sister], nome [brother-in-law] and asima [sister-in-law] came up for eid. it was fun. OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - asima is no longer a punk since she visited. i will be taking suggestions for a new nickname.

i got my car! yay! it's a hand-me-down [this means free!] 91 corolla ls. it works. i'm happy. plus, did i mention it was free? thanks to my cousin who now owns a wicked gold/grey 2006 accord.

car related. this is funny and scary. in october [the 12th] i posted, "vomiting sunshine and sweet nothings". in it i had posted some pictures of some fugly cars me and andy say on our way back to markham. anyway, we went to pick up my car from the mechanic and i saw a picture of the golden civic de sol with the floral print [refer to that blog for image]. turns out that mechanic is the proud owner of that car. i stress proud because . . . well, go see the picture. anyway, we didn’t think it possible but it's uglier up close.

yesterday i went through all my old paper work to organize and through out all my junk. it wasn't fun but it had to be done. i also updated my booklist to reaffirm that i a missing a lot of books and unfortunately in some cases, i have no idea where they are. here is the list of books i'm missing. some of them i know who has em. some of them arent on this list because it's been so bleeding long, i've forgotten about them. i want them back as soon as possible. or at least lemme know you have it so i know where it is.

good omens - neil gaimen and terry prachett

the alchemist - paulo coelho

lamb - christofer moore

life of pi - yann martell

a fine balance - rohinton mistiri

portrait of a killer - patricia cornwell

god of small things - arundati roy

american gods - neil gaimen

shadows of the empire - steve perry

all families are psychotic - douglas coupland

the vampire chronicles box set [1-4] - anne rice

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban - j. k. rowling

lord of the rings box set - j. r. r. tolkien

so if you have any of them, or know where they are. lemme know. and there are others not on this list. also, new rule - none of my stuff is leaving until i get 90% of my books and dvds back.

last night, while talking to sacha online with gobs of acne grossness on my face. i ended up downloaded about 25 songs ranging from metric rolling stones to cypress hill. this might explain why i am the way i am. also, i think sacha is gradually becoming a NIN fan and that makes me happy.

which reminds me. NIN concert on the 10th! can't wait. it's gonna be awesome. nobody is to interupt my plans! except work but that can't be helped.

ok, i'm off to work. be good.


zq

p.s. i've updated the links section. more access to blogs i find interesting.

p.s. topic - should ignorance be painful. if you say, yes - since it's not, should you take it upon yourself to make it painful for them?

31st - resignation from the human interaction thing...

i've been genuinely happy these past couple of days. nothing good has happened and some bad stuff happened but i've been happy. it's a rare occurrence. well, my happy mood, which has been going on since last monday is over. with the exception of halloween, which sucked and yesterday - i was happy. now i'm not. so, here it is. i quit.

it's been proven too many times that i don't play well with others so i'm just going to sit the next few rounds out. i'm just gonna keep my interaction with the human race to a minimum and see if they get along any better. it'll give me more time to blog.

since i've really got nothing to talk about, here's a list of dvds i don’t own and really bloody well should:

- star wars episode III - i don't it. the one day i had enough money to get it, i had no transportation and bussing over would kind of defeat the purpose of the seven dollars i'd be saving.

- star wars episode II - somebody [mansoor] borrowed it and lost it.

- batman begins - there isn't anything i can say here. i was working the day it came out and i'm sure by now i missed out on the free t-shirt

- lord of the rings - two towers & return of the king [extended editions] - i actually don't have the regular editions either. i had them but then i gave them to raza and now they're in saudi arabia. i just have the fellowship extended.

- indiana jones trilogy - i realized i had q's at my house for almost a year [maybe more] so i never felt the need to buy it. i do however, have the tapes.

another quick note - everyone who has books and movies of mine. can i get them back, please. or either let me know you have them at least. there's a lot so i'm not making any lists. i do want my constantine back since i only had it for like a day before it was borrowed.

on halloween, some kid got stabbed because he wouldn't give up his candy. there's two stupid things there. one, you asshole, you stabbed somebody for free candy you could have gone around and collected yourself. two, idiot, you got stabbed because you didn't wanna give up free candy. i'm assuming or hoping anyway that there was some other motive towards stabbing and killing someone. because if you're willing to kill over candy, i don't wanna know what else you're willing to kill someone for.

i like halloween and i get it. pranks are fun. but honestly, enjoying halloween by ruining for others is stupid. i love pranks but as long as at the end the other person is good and annoyed but can still appreciate the joke.

prison break is way too bloody good. i just saw the ninth episode and it was awesome. bad news though, its going away at the end of november and coming back in april. and scrubs and arrested development and incapacitated so that leaves me with one show to watch. smallville. and yes sunita, everyone [except haider, mansoor, others, maybe mome] hates lana. lois is so much cooler and better looking.

so, eid is being celebrated all over today except here. we're doing it tomorrow. which is a good thing. one - long weekend. two - hopefully, my mood will improve by then. three - i am so not ready for eid.

ok, i'm leaving. there's work to be done.

zq


p.s. i understand that i make comments on my blog that are semi offensive or sometimes very offensive. if you have a problem with them, eat me, but if my comment is really bothering you, just call me on it, i'll be more than happy to discuss it with you. unless you're a flaming moron. then, maybe not so much.

p.s. today's topic. which race has the best racist jokes. [include jokes]