68th - There is no rest for the Wicked (and the insanely attractive)

DISCLAIMER - THIS BLOG WON'T MAKE AS MUCH SENSE IF YOU DIDN'T READ MY LAST BLOG. GO READ IT NOW. AND COMMENT! I WORKED ON THAT FOR THREE DAYS! I ALSO WORKED HARD ON THIS ONE. COMMENT DAMNIT!

You will recall I mentioned on my last blog, that my next blog [this one] would be super Narcissistic. Well, I'm going to have to disappoint, partially. This was going to go down in history as the Uber Blog. I'm was going to set the bar for narcissism for the next thousand years. Then I thought about the Princess Yalnee and the Pharaohs and Paris Hilton. Then I got some responses back and well, now my ego is a bit bruised. Apparently, this exercise is a lot more ego-bruising [still amusing] than stroking.

I've edited my real name out, even though I'm sure everyone who didn't know my name, knows it by now anyway. I've decided to keep the comments anonymous. I won't actually use the word anonymous because it's an ugly word and for some reason faaking impossible to spell. Lastly, I decided not to post some comments because they are almost identical to another. So, if you see you comment but the wording is a wee different, I didn't alter is, someone just said it before you did. Here we go...


"Sixth thinks he's the alpha male of the universe but in reality, he's quite the narcissistic asshole who's about this close ->|<- to being gay. Read on for more details you don't need to know but is written purely to satisfy his egotistical self... he is generous in a idiot squandering way."

This seemed like a good one to start with.I didn't realize people had such negative things to say about me. She didn't even think about this too long. I asked and this response came back in like twenty seconds.


"Sixth is a pretty strange guy. I can never anticipate how people are gonna react to him. I usually expect some big rivalry or conflict, but that doesn’t seem to have happened yet. He has this really evil mind, but I’m still convinced he’s a good guy anyway. He takes way too much pleasure out of torturing others. He also seems to think that the point of life is being endlessly amused. And he’s overly concerned with life being as random as possible, at all times. Eats too much sugary foods. A surprisingly capable human being. Impossible to shop for. His taste in food, clothing, and general accessories is way too high maintenance and princessy. Most aggravating person I’ve ever met aside from family. He is very interesting though, and unlike anyone else I know. Which is good, because I don’t think I could handle two of him."

Alright, that was pretty much the kind of thing I was expecting, sorta. This sounds like something a teacher would say to my parents. Minus the bit about shopping. I wonder how many times the word, "princess" or variations of it will come up. Lets count. ["princess" count - 01].


"...definitely the most UNIQUE person I know… (unique can be loosely interpreted….crazy being very closely related). Who knew I’d end up being friends with the craziest of Asma’s crazy Q’s. A strange character, who says everything and anything on his mind- uncensored (which is always delightful). And although he seems like an angry devil child born only to Satan…. deep down (very very VERY deep down)…he’s not so bad."

You have no idea how long I've had a crush on this girl and this is what she thinks of me. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's sweet, but she thinks I'm a freak. Things could get complicated.


"You have your own brand of logic that does not resemble our Earth logic. Your excess of self confidence is both inspiring and aggravating. You can be cruel, and we're not sure whether you know this and do it on purpose, or have no intention to crush someone else's fragile spirit. However, you have a smile that turns women's knees to jello at 50 feet and can be a fantastic listener."

50 FEET FAAKERS!! I think this one makes up for the ego-bashing I received on that first one. Since when do I smile? Asmar always tells me to, "stop that" when I am smiling.


"..is always there for me whenever I need him... makes fun of my wardrobe."

Nice & Sweet. I do pick on him about his wardrobe a lot, but that's because he ruins my ties. I love my ties. I think it's pretty obvious who this is.


"Sixth is an interesting individual. He seems to have a rather peculiar facade on about himself but I think he is a little less complex that he appears - not in a bad way."

I am not complex. I'm basically a walking/talking ego. That about sums me up.


"My little brother who wants people to think he is a sexy, arrogant jerk is actually a caring human being who will always be there when you need him the most. He wants to be evil, but he can't help being nice..."

It's always a little disturbing to hear your sister use the word, "Sexy" in relation to her little brother. She only thinks I'm nice because I gave her a lizard. She doesn't know about that thing of hers I destroyed.


"...about the one they call "Sixth" I realize that my thoughts do not have to be in any sequential order since, after all, we all know his thoughts are always all over the place and so out there. So here are my random thoughts about Sixth, in no particular order:

- He is strange.

- He is opinionated.

- He says he's not down with the cousin lovin' and yet he is the first in line to take a cousin licking picture. Enough with you Q's and your gross licking pictures!

- He is good with computers and I use that to my advantage whenever I can. :P

- He is entertaining.

- His inability to stop spending absurd amounts of money on useless crap astounds me.

- He's...how can I put this diplomatically?...He's never at a loss for words. :P

- He should buy me presents."

That's the politest way someone's ever said, "He never shuts up". Very diplomatic. I'm not down with the cousin lovin' but I am definitely down with the cousin lickinl' and I've decided now, after this comment, I'm down with the Harley lickin' too. [I was going to say "Horse Lickin'" for the new alias, but that would have brought about a whole new page of comments]. Prepare yourself [By this I mean, wash any grimy/slimy wee student crap off your face before I see you]


"he's an ass/jerk/loser/assjerk/etc"

This one came up a lot. Assholes. I credit this to lack of creativity.


"Zaraf is a dumbass....that is all"

Somebody, not naming any named, Edward, can't spell.

GOOD	BAD
- good looking	- very aware of it
- smart	- very aware of it
- charming	- very aware of it
- jerky	- perfectly okay with it
- well dressed	- wears capes in public
- generous	- no “don’t buy” button
- creative	- uses creative powers for evil
- very good flirt	- shameless flirt
- reads all types of books	- including comic books

There is nothing I can say to that. It's pretty much spot on. I was glad someone gave me a chart though.


"He Todd Bertuzzied me and made my elbow bleed. but he made up for it by taking me on a date. It was a good time except for him playing Celine Dion in the car that whole time."

I said i was SORRY! I can't believe you still remember that. You took me on some creepy route by the end of which, i was fairly sure you were going to rape, murder and eat me. Not necessarily in that order. Celine Dion was punishment. I didn't enjoy it either. It had to be done.


"... Zekkie, Jaffar and many other names that i don't feel the need to mention..Mr. i think it got bigger (Erin Mills)..this is the guy who when he first met me said "Ohh i thought you were blue." Ummmm what!!! What person is actually blue?? This is also the guy who loves to insult me for being Tamil, nice and sorry Zekkie but what culture are you from again?! Okkie but seriously all in all the guy can be nice its very rare when he is, I think we get along due to our love of Star Trek..shut up I know some of you reading this are closet geeks yourself."

I'm a Martian. I never said you weren't a *sound effect* HOT Tamil. I'm sorry. I know it's tacky but it's gotta be said. Florina is a Hot Tamale! Damnit! Now, I want candy. We all love Star Trek and most of us are proud of it. My sister used to watch DS9 with me but she'll never admit it.


"What do you call someone who thinks of all he can do to make the conversation awkward before saying anything else - Sixth"

I don't put a lot of effort or thought into it. This goes back to what Mr. Horse said earlier and what Shiv said when she was quoting Apu, "I cannot believe you don't shut up!"


"... is a bastard…like all other men…although some ppl would like to disagree…but I still stick to my statement…of him being a bastard…but he’s not like other bastards…you only feel like killing him sometimes…when he mentions certain names he knows he shouldn’t..YOU KNOW WAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!…Oh and if you can’t get enough of Sixth…walk into bestbuy…go towards hometheater..and ask for Link…trust me…its just like talking to him…their mannerisms (yes you have those)…and the sarcastic comments they love to make…and the way they just talk…its crazy!!!! Oh but link is taller…yeh….so back to Sixth…he can be nice too I guess…at times…like he helped me with my teacher’s application…but don’t think he’s just tooo nice…I think he did it cuz I helped him…I’m his “maid”!! wooohoo!! Yehh!!! His maid!!..that’s right!!…DUM DUM DUM!! Hahaha….back to Sixth again….he has changed over the years I must say…doesn't act all high and mighty..wait he still does that…Sixth…in the end…is a bastard…and always will be…but I guess he can be nice at times..haha…oh and wats up with his “pebbl”…I HATE THAT PHONE!! ITS HORRIBLE!! AND UGLY!!! AND HORRIBLE!!! IT DESERVES TO BE DROPPED A MILLION TIMES!!! AND THEN BURNED!!!…is this enough Sixth Or do you want me to go on about you Who the hell asks people to write about him…only you!!! Seee…the boy is WEEIRRDDD!! Haha..but this was fun….now I shall go…"

Crazy lady say, "What?"


"Makes funny faces at the most random and awkward moments. Mostly the moment is awkward cuz of his random face making. Is always up to something ... or not ... i guess we will never know. Makes people smell his armpits and does a bootie dance to annoy me. One day I will get back at him. One day ..... "

My armpits smell fantastic. Ask anybody who's smelt em. Oh, I hope they never stop making my deodorant. I've got a butt gyration add-on now that would make a large black woman proud!


"Despite being known to most as being THE most narcissistic person in existence, Sixth is the kind of guy that can forget all about himself when it comes to someone he truly cares about. While he is completely cocky about himself, he has the ability to be fiercely loyal and completely there for his closest friends and family. He's my boulder with wings....as he helps me stay grounded when I get out of control, and helps me fly when i dig myself into a depressing little hole."

Awwww. As it stands, I'm a Red Bull commercial targeted at boulders. I always thought boulder was a word used to describe stupid people. This could be a wee little joke that I'm not getting.


“When I first met him, I was convinced he hated me. Since then, we’ve become cool… I am now known as Twig, or skinny bitch. : ) And to me, he will always be the man who has a moral opposition to eating baklava lol.”

Just so we're clear. I have never called her a "Skinny Bitch" no matter how many times a thought it. However, Twig is under the misconception that she is intimidating *snicker* - She's not. Baklava is gross.


So, there - That's me. According to you - That was vaguely narcissistic and ego-stroking, wasn't it? Mome, I'm still mad at you. You know why.

As a minor side-note. I hate most of you. Expect Revenge.

Be good.


ZQ

p.s. Since this entire blog is comments from people, I don't think many people will be leaving comments. So go to THIS LINK and play the game. Leave your top score in the comments section. 5 bucks to whomever is at the top a week from now. Don't cheat. It ruins in fun.

67th - You're consistant. You always were an asshole. You still are an asshole. Chances are you will still be an asshole in the future.

Pictures were provided by various sources from various events. This must be my most picture filled blog yet.

Anyway, I was thinking about what Momarian said a long time ago, that blogs are self-indulgent. As true as that is and as okay with that I am, I decided that I'm going to write a blog about other people. The other people being you. So here's to you. Note - I just chose random thoughts. If you get offended, let me know and I might replace it with another random thought. I can write a lot more about each and every one of you. I'm still adding people in who asked to "approve" whatever i write about them.

Sarah / "Random-Thoughts-of-a-Qureshi" girl / Tink [It's a bed wetting thing. But she's working hard to get past it] - Talks to her cat and has recently had a big moment in her life. Also had a lot of things in her room broken by forces unknown. I blame the cat.

Picture [left] - What the hell Nadia's doing is any body's guess. I think that's going to end up being the Kitchen-Dance soon enough.

Nadia / Nad / Nadi / etc - Recently became a Scrubs fanatic. Likes the lizard from Mushu. Will laugh hysterically at the phrase, "I'm going to burn your balls", whichever context you say it in.

Sophia / Sophie - Is engaged. Is also the Bollywood Newspaper. She knows everyone's business in Bollywood.

Picture [right] - Iqbal came as my date to Sameera's birthday party.

Iqbal / Iqster /Sick-Ball / Etc - Has a blog. We don't know why. Is currently a Big Moment is someone's life. This is not a fat joke.

Abbas / Sabba / Babu - Has a weird thing about Jackie Chan lately. Still watches Price is Right.

Haider /Haidy / Tamatar / "Baby" - Shares my thing about trying random drinks. A little obsessed with F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Does that actually stand for anything? Is tall. And who can forget, 919. Whatever the hell that means.

Picture [left] - Asmar & Me on Haider's surprise birthday party thing. Also, Sarah is a Camera *****. She can fill in the blanks.

Asmar / Smuffy / Ain't-No-Mountain-High-Enough Girl - Has too many pairs of glasses. Likes the ugly one from Grey's Anatomy. Giggles at the mention of Mr. Lube.

Mr. Horse / Harley / Straight-From-the-Horse's-Mouth Girl - Is a teacher of wee ones. Makes baby blankets but is yet to knit me a onezie. *hint hint* Has one of the coolest rooms in Markham. Possibly even the GTA.

Hadia / non-bio Mom / Had - Can now actually be up and about by 12 noon. This was not possible in previous years. The end is near. Beat up a pregnant woman.

Shivali / Skimbleshanks / Jungle Book /Niki [family only] - Takes fencing and has finally kicked the habit of stealing my pretty red Zippo. Will probably kick my ass for this entirely non-offensive comment. Poster child for the Napoleon Complex. Okay, now I deserve to get my ass kicked, a little.

Yalnee / Princess Yalnee / Confessions-of-the-World's-Greatest-Princess girl- Is an Honorary Qureshi. Has a grown up job with her own cubicle and everything. Is overly nice when there's no need to be. Hasn't yet learned people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. Has mole. A fellow narcissist.

Waleed - Laughs like a girl/hyena hybrid. Have video to prove this.

Picture [right] - Flomo & Shiv out in the snow. This is in Renfrew. Yes, that's a real place. It's the Canadian equivalent to Shitkicked, Idaho in the States. Except the people are nicer. Well, the two that I've met. I wanna visit this place. They've got hay bails. I saw pictures. Wanna see up close.

Florina / Flo / Flomo - Calls her mom, Moogie [What Quark calls him mom. If you don't know who Quark is, you lose 20 cool points]. Will be marrying someone with the last name, Flores to be known as, Florina Flores. Gets nicotine cravings even thought she doesn't smoke.

Sophia / Asmar's Friend - I don't know her all that well. Has a thing against me since I made fun of her for liking Coldplay when they were underground or something like that. Something regarding Coldplay.

Pinky - Gets annoyed when I call her Pinky, which is always. Uses the word, "baby" way too much. And of course, whatever the hell 919 means. I'm assuming it's something to do with the cult she belongs to.

Shell / Porch-of-Doom girl - Has two blogs. One blog is read exclusively by me and one other girl. Is into theatre and sword fighting.

Nilusha - The only girl who's argued with me to prove she's Tamil. Likes cats. Is very allergic to cats. Wont tell me Telus secrets.

Mona - Has tried on several occasions to maim me with her ugly shoes. Is still planning on. I'm betting they're still ugly shoes. Has a clone.

Nomi - Human Map Quest. Very mild mannered and easy going until we're playing Free-4-All Hockey. Then the gloves come off. Has been shut-out by yours truly. Has beaten me once.

Picture [left] - Me, Momes & Haider - I can't find the picture, but there's a picture of my mom making the same face with Momes. This is at the Dreaded Hall of Omni.

Momarian / Peter Pan - Strange ability of knowing what's happening or going to happen in my life before I do. Fits into his clothes from seven years ago.

Hina / Mehek - Has Heelies. Doesn't use Heelies. Likes Desi movies. Has been told on several occasions to "Relax"

Abu - Used to make me help him with handy-man stuff. Used to get paid with toonies [that's a two-dollar coin for you American folk]. Scares little children.

Picture [left] - Thomas on St. Patrick's Day! This is why people from Renfrew are cool.

Thomas / Tom Tom - Blushes very easily. Doesn't seem threatening, but your girlfriend will probably leave you for him. Likes the brown girls.

Taline / Tally - Apparently hates me. For which reason, I'm not sure.

Vins - Acts very grown up for someone who sleeps with giant cookie monster. My sister is love with her butt. Owns lulumoon pants.

Picture [right] - Adolf loving his Khakis.

Adolf - Could charm the pants off of you. Didn't like Jews. Loved Khakis. If you wear stuff from the GAP, you support the murder of innocent Jews and bad fashion taste.

Jibba the Hutt - Best facial expressions ever. Also, a very calm baby. Experiment Baby # 2.

Bobbles / Bilu - Has a creepy foot fetish. Also has been witnessed whimpering, "Manny, Blanket" in his sleep. Likes Godfather Movies.

Nino - Has really strange allergies. Tells the best and most offensive jokes which if I ever use, I have to credit to her just because of how good they are.

Momi - Is Mona's clone.

My neighbors to the Left - Deaf & Dumb

My neighbors to the Right - Potheads. Could you ask for better neighbors?

picture [right] reema at her birthday party! looking very happy.

Reem - Has the softest hair ever felt on an adult. It's very cool. Her and Her sister call each other by the same nick name. I know it's weird. Arabs...

Amaan - Owns the same jacket as me in a different colour. We have been confused for an "item". By opinion, is very pretty [not my opinion]. Didn't vote Qureshi in the recent elections.

Saima - Has the most patronizing laugh in the world. Will laugh at almost anything.

Taj - The long version of her name is complicated. She's kinda of neurotic and insane and a man-hater, which makes her perfect for being Shiv's best friend. If you really wanna piss her off, mention things that are against "her religion" that only she follows or mention "her boy" who is imaginary but still pisses her off.

Samar - Gives wicked evil Cut-Eye. I've only heard stories but apparently, if looks could kill, she would be setting people on fire. I'm yet to see this, even though I try very hard to annoy her. Her and her sister get a weird kick out of asking which one seems older. For the love of God, don't answer them.

Picture [left] - This is Zuwania & Caboose. Zuwania was with Caboose when the incident mentioned below happened.

Caboose / "Jesus-was-Christian" girl / Artie - Has been added to the "Caboose's People" list for getting lost in a Sobey's. Her dad loves trains, hence the name. Signature Phrase, "Don't make fun of me!" and "My name is Michael J. Caboose and I hate babies!"



Picture [right] - Mina at her first Dhol Party. She looks eerily happy. "besharam!"

Mina - Likes them "Whoopers". Is getting married in December. Has eaten gum off the sidewalk. Read Asmar's blog for a fun Mina story.

Junaid - Is half my age. Is taller than me. Makes weird faces all the time.

Amaad - Car Nut and a really big smack talker. Really BIG.

Picture [left] - Me and Fiona. This is from a really really really long time ago. Grade 10, I think.

Fiona / Lilan - One of the coolest people I know. Considering she used to he a super wet-blanket in High School.

Fadi - Game Nazi!

Ambler - Youngest and the tallest. weird beyond comprehension. Even I find her weird. Gets flustered very easily. Which is lots of fun. Also, likes horror movies and other scary things because she's a giant pansy and gets scared easily.

Picture [right] - Amaad & Junaid making weird faces. I believe i mentioned this earlier. Like 2 lines ago.

Sameera - Even though she may not seem it, she may be the least high maintenance girl I know. Also, she doesn't lend very well to nick names. Did take 15 minutes to change from one pair of blue jeans to another pair of blue jeans that looked exactly the same.

My Mother / The Female Saddam - Laughs at Fart Jokes. A lot. In her defense, her entire family is like that. However, she's the ONLY skinny one in her family. The rest of them are very very very spherical in shape.

Picture [right] - I couldn't find the Gay Sailor picture so the bald one is going up instead. He seems happy about it.

Andy - Bald Gay Sailor! We have pictures. He likes em' Young.

Mansoor. AKA Devem - Is also getting married in December. This won't bode well for his Anime addiction.

Hassan - Dr. Qureshi as we call him. All grown up and mature and stuff. Married, kids. However, I will always remember him as the suicidal lemming I keep hearing stories about. He once put on his superman cape and jumped off the monkey bars.

Picture [left] - This picture meets two requirements. It shows that Saira is insane. Also, Sacha took this picture.

Saira - Insane. See picture.

Sacha / ....Meheehee...I won't say it - Has the saddest allergy known to man. She's allergic to apples. Can seriously kick my ass for making fun of her. I'm hoping it never comes to that. Sushi...mehehehe...

Adidi - The most stressed out seventeen-year-old to date. Really smart, except has a thing for cow-shit [it's weird, i know. there might be some German in her]. Also, likes the thug types.

Picture [left] - This is Sumi being Cute, which is basically always. SO this is Sumi being Sumi.

Sumi - Little. Very Hyper. Literally ran before she walked. Shivali wants to steal her. Qudsia, be warned.

House - Was the pregnant woman who got beat up by Hadia. Owns Jibba the Hutt.

My Father / Daddy / Nanu [not to me, to others] - Can take out his teeth and scare the crap out of little kids. Still hasn't started balding [WOOOHOOO GENETICS!]. However, had white hair since he was like, twenty-five.

Aniesa - Littler Still. Very Cute. Very aware of it. Throws little temper tantrums.

Picture [left] - This is the best picture of that Dhol Party. I have no idea how he managed to make his face look like that. But that's Moon for ya.

Moon - Waves controller around like a mad man when playing video games. Will kick out asses something serious when playing the Wii.

Asima. AKA Asi - Who can talk on the phone, do her make up, speed and tailgate all at the same time. Not Asima. But she tries. Her car is proof. Also very little.

Omer - Even Littler. Very Cute. One of two children I have ever picked up before they were one. Experiment Baby # 1.

Picture [right] - Zarlish looking up. Apparently, she doesn't like her nose. I can't think of any reason why?

Zarlish / Garlic - Doesn't like to be called Garlic. Or Relish.

Khalid - Is mysteriously around when balled up tissues are being thrown around.

Saddaf - Is a punk! I'm still mad at her. She doesn't talk to me!

Harley - Used to make those weird Angel things. There's a huge Photo of her in Aldergrove P.S. Has a very cool Harley Quinn Tattoo.

Alright, so now everyone knows a little bit more useless crap about each other. I'm going to stop. My next blog entry will be more traditional and be as always, about me. I feel very left out right now. Enjoy the last picture.

I've decided, after watching happy feet, i am adding penguins to the list of things I'm afraid of.

Picture [below] - Somebody explain what I'm thinking or doing. Well, I'm standing on the stairs. Why am I making that face though? I don't get it.

Something fun. My blond moment. I do a lot of stupid and careless things. This one is a clear winner [for now]. So, i woke up today after an hour and a half of sleep. Showered, Shaved [I've decided I look fat when I'm clean shaven] and got dressed. I went about my day and ran my errands. Then I went for physio which is loads of fun [they make me exercise, then electrocute me and then i get my neck, back and bum prodded and then I'm sent home] and as I was walking up the stairs to the second floor, I noticed that I am a genius. I was wearing two different shoes. I decided to play it off and hoped that nobody would notice. They did. Chicks especially notice that sort of thing right away. So, that was today.

Be good.


ZQ

66th - More pointless than an unsharpened pencil

I've updated my links. go visit places.

Before you continue. I made useless quiz which took me longer than I care to admit. Let this be a lesson to you to never let me get bored. TAKE QUIZ and post your results in the comments section.

You done? Good.

I have to say that the title for the movie, John Tucker must Die is grossly exaggerated. They don't even try to kill the guy. Not even once. They only mention running him over with a car one time!

Lately, i watched a whole faaking bunch of movies. I mean a lot. Here my pointlessly quick reviews. 01. star trek nemesis - WTF? Land battle? 02. Over the Hedge - Meh. Turtle was cool thought. 03. The Devil Wears Prada - Didn't even make it half way through before I got bored. I do like Meryl Streep[sp] thugh. 04. the covenant - it's like the craft but with a pretty boy, a normal boy, a biker boy, a gay/nick carter boy and a badass boy. There was a story line but I was unaware of it. 05. The Family Stone - It's so awkward. It's embarrassingly funny! The blonde horse is in it, though. 06. Batman Beyond. Return of the Joker - You can't go wrong with Batman. . . Unless you count Batman Returns, Batman Forever, and Batman & Robin. 07. The Spy who Shagged Me - It just never gets old. Hilarious. I don't remember what else i watched. That seems enough!

DAMNIT! my Dr. No "backup" is not in English or French. This sucks! I think it's German.

Yea, I've really got nothing more to say.

There are only two things that scare me. One, that a disease will wipe out the entire female population. Two, that Rosie O'Donnell will find a cure. That and raccoons with light-sabers. That won't end well for anybody.

Be good.


ZQ

65th - Smarties and other Non-Eatables

Pictures are brought to you by Eid and Mohsin's wedding [who is currently in Turkey, honeymooning] and the letter "Z" [it's pronounced "zed", not "zee"]

picture [right] - I'll be killed for posting this. But we can all agree, it's worth it. This is Had, getting ready for the day. I like this picture. Freaky Had News. When Had & Nome came to visit for Eid, the weirdest thing happened. We went to bed at like seven-thirty in the morning and Had was up and about by twelve in the afternoon. It's a sign - The world is ending, sooner than we thing. For those who don't know. Had may have developed a reputation for sleeping in to the point where someone was late for her own birthday party, in her own house. Yea, she's gonna murder me for this. Fortunately, that won't happen for a few weeks because she doesn't live here. She's in Philadelphia. Bwhahaha.

Eid was FUN! We got Eidy for the first time in a while. I came out with some decent scratch. Plus we did the "Secret Eidy" thing for next Eid. I got the easiest person possible. Hehehe.

picture [left] - This is me and Asmar, who has a new blog. This picture serves three purposes. Useless plug for Asmar's Blog, which by the way has a very unfortunate name. - Two. Yet, another picture of Asmar online. I wonder how many of those are floating around. And three, it begs the question. Why am i shiny? My clothes are from Shivs, who brought them from India when she went for four faaking months. Everyone liked my clothes, except for Had. But she's a punk and has something against red. How can someone related to me not like red. It's absurd.

I gave this some serious thought. There are things i require which seem practical enough, but don't exist on the market. I must have these items to make my life simpler. I've been giving some thought to hiring Oompa Loompas for making things i can't find on the market. But then I thought some more and figured, where the hell am I going to find their stupid little island. Then I realized, they're unionized and who wants to deal with that. They'll want benefits and want fair wages and what have you? So, instead I've decided to wipe them off the face of the Earth. I will give fifty bucks for every dead Oompa Loompa reported. Reports must be proven by taking video of you [the killer] cutting out and eating the Oompa Loompa's heart. I know, they look a bit funny, but they taste just like green jelly beans. So, there you have it.

picture [right] - This is House and baby, Jibba the Hutt. They don't live here anymore. Rehan, either. They're gone to Calgary and we all only have one thing on our mind. "Who willingly moves to Calgary?"

Okay - so it's been like a month since i blogged. Eat me. I've been preoccupied with a whole bunch of random shit. I've forgotten most of it now, but it was important at the time and we all know i never remember anything outside of my current project/obsession/etc.

Birthday Wishes - Sariya, Princess Yalnee, Qudsia, Omer, Sumi, Bilal and Momarian. I've called and wished you all personally, so don't complain about this crappy mention. By the by, everyone should go check out Harley's birthday blog for Momarian. It's quite awesome.

picture [above] - This is Mohsin getting ready to head out to the banquet hall on his Baraath. He looks eerily happy. Another fun thing to note that Mohsin is as tall as certain people while he's sitting on a chair and they're standing. [examples - Kuki Baji, Qudsia, Shivali, House]

I'm a pedestrian again. Which is loads of fun. I crashed my car over a month ago. October fourth to be exact. It wasn't fun. I t-boned some idiot girl who was turning left out of a parking lot. Her fault. I spent a good hour trying to get her to stop crying. Long story short. I don't have a car anymore and Nicole, who got her license in August this year got six demerit points and a whopping six-hundred and fifty dollar ticket. poor stupid kid. Since then i drove around a Yaris and now that's gone so, it's the bus for me.

picture [above] - This is Kerri. She got married the same night as Mohsin. She's also honeymooning in Turkey.

The one thing that does suck about being a pedestrian is that you can't always feed any little want that pops into your pretty little head. In this case, i am talking about my week-long jonsing for some Harvey's. Seriously, I think it's been like three days since this urge popped up and nobody has done any thing to help which leads me to believe, you're all bastards! screw this - i'm going to Harvey's. I'll be back.

picture [left] - This is Nad and me. Nadia has a picture like this with most people at the wedding. My hair looks so faaked up. Looking at this picture made me decide to change it. I got it cut - It's very difference now. Anyway, you can see my left eye beginning to swell up. I'm actually very sick in this picture, so don't complain. I couldn't find a good picture of it, but me and Mome are pretty similarly dressed. Same colour scheme. Not planned. Just very good taste.

Later that night - I had a box of Smarties and I have to say this. WTF? I ONLY GOT ONE RED SMARTIE! I'm officially announcing my boycott of Smarties. [Side note - The new Smarties bar with the pop rocks - What the f*ck were you people thinking?] Smarties is now being added to list of "Edibles not to be Eaten". This list includes: Tomatoes, Cauliflower, Miscellaneous Soggy Foods, M&Ms, Those little black things in rice, Black Licorice/Black Licorice flavored things. There's probably a lot more, but I can't think of anything. I'm itising and loving every minute of it. Lordy, that was good.

Before I take off, I just wanna say, I'm not like a video game that you can just play with. You can't button mash and fiddle with my analog and not expect to get a reaction. A special move type reaction. A console is worthless without games to play on it. That's how i feel about us. I'm a game system and you're my halo. And . . . my feelings for you are like . . . a memory card . . . and i no longer have any clue whatsoever what I'm talking about.

Be good.


ZQ

p.s. I will try to blog more often. at least once a week. you have my word as a blacksmith, which isn't worth much since you know, not actually a blacksmith.

64th - it's time

i'm going to talk about my feelings. it's my blog, so shove it. i'm unhappy. not in the i'm cranky because i haven't eaten all day way. i'm genuinely unhappy with my life. i feel like i'm wasting it. frankly, i am. i'm screwing up all over the place. i'm not in school [i'm dying to go to school]. there are just so many things i'm supposed to do and it's just becoming a too much. i just want it all to go away. but of course, that isn't going to happen any time soon. i don't know what to do.

i'm at that point where everything is getting to me. i feel like i don't know, i am destitute. i don't have a leg to stand on. . . i am alone.

i feel abandoned.


ZQ

63rd - exhaustion stage 5 - everything is very very clear

NOTE - will add photos later.

1. dance - to move one's feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps, esp. to the accompaniment of music. 2. cave - a hollow in the earth, esp. one opening more or less horizontally into a hill, mountain, etc. incidentally, if you put them together to make, "dance cave" you get - "no class, filthy, disease infested, shit-hole basement pit of ew" more on that later.

i am absolutely stupid exhausted. i'm at that point where everything is suddenly very clear. it's like watching hi-def porn. never a good idea. too much detail.

this is my seventeenth or so time writing this blog and once again, i've started from scratch. there just aren't enough hours in a day to do stuff. i think i should go back to my sleeping every other day thing. that used to work out well but you know, getting old. who knows how my body will take it.

speaking of getting old. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CABOOSE! [21] HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASIMA! [who knows, OLD] HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! [67].

lets start with caboose's birthday, which was a few weeks ago now. we went to a place called "dance cave". see above. it was kinda dirty. like a small town club would be, but in the middle of the city. kind of like a hillbilly haven in the big city. the kind of place you'd find babe or forest gump wandering around. afterwards we went for coffee, which was better. the club scene is not really my thing. the highlight of the night for me was, i was talking to caroline and all of sudden she says, "ok, these are pissing me off", pulls of her huge hoop earrings and tosses them aside onto the street. i was just like, "wow. you really are a princess" - the next day [birthday weekend] we went to cafe mirage. which was neat. yes, neat. one last note. I STOMPED EVERYBODY. bwahahahaha...

asima's birthday. i called her like four times. no answer. her highness was very busy that day. nonetheless, she's a punk. and old geezery punk. i think she's twenty-five now or a hundred-and-six. it's hard to tell.

daddy's birthday. all the stuff in the house was packed so we didn't end up doing anything big. also, my sister took off to florida for a bachelorette thing. i got him some cake [shiv got him a cupcake. which i ate] and i wanted to buy him a suit but suits and stuff are such a personal thing, i couldn't decide. also, someone took too damn long in walmart and the pants store. i ended up getting him a wicked shirt and tie. my dad, like me doesn't really care for the colour green. but i saw thsi shirt and tie and thought it was wicked and hoped he would too. i don't think he liked it though. i still gotta take him out shopping to exchange that and get a suit. more on that when i finally get some time to take him shopping.

oh, sugar! i just cut my finger. i cut my finger on magenta coloured student safety scissors! what the hell? i guess that puts me on the short bus for the rest of the week or until someone does something dumber. Speaking of which. EXTRA SPECIAL CABOOSE'S PEOPLE - caboose's sister, Taline is gracing us with her presence because Taline, a good christian girl *snickers* was under the impression the J-Man was a complete narcissist and worshiped himself. not everyone is like paris hilton. i'm gonna set the record straight on this. Jesus was JEWISH, NOT CHRISTIAN. seriously. Im not a jew or a christen and i know, why don't you? Don't blame your school. FYI - also, not armenian.

fun news - moved to new house. i somehow managed to get the big room [second biggest] - wierd huh? oh well. i'll post pics of my room, once i'm done setting it up. there is shit everywhere right now. thanks to everyone who came and helped out with the move. special thanks to shiv who did boys work and i'm getting flak from my family for making her do heavy lifting because she's a wee one.


ok - here's my opinion for the blog. things i think are weird. firstly. people who watch porn and don't masturbate to it. what's the point. porn is a tool used to keep your mind on the matter at hand. there's no point in watching it if you're not diddling yourself or if you're already done. seriously, what’s the entertainment value of porn? if it's not being used to keep your mind focused on the task at hand [masturbating] because otherwise your mind wanders to things like your shopping list and your great aunt sally and then you gotta start all over again. secondly. people who masturbate to random shit. like a friend of mine who shall remain unnamed diddles herself while watching angel [crappy vampire show] - how the hell does that work? next it's gonna be people getting off reading the newspaper. opinions?

be good.

zq

p.s. - i will try to blog more often. remind me.

62nd - I can hear myself blink?!

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce to my loyal blog readers [all four of whom seem to be fuming because I haven’t bloged in the last little while – six weeks, I think] to KINGOF9X. KINGOF9X is my new computer. So far, I’ve managed to virus it four times. It’s a bit of a pain in the ass. I actually don’t care too much because I’m still waiting for my Windows CD to show up in the mail. I got a copy from Eastern Europe for 60 bucks. Completely legit, sorta. Don’t judge me, it’s 300 bucks here. It’s just too much of a pain to go through the effort of having a “backed up” copy updated and stuff. So, sixty bucks and I needn’t to worry about none of that. Once that comes, I’ll sit down and set it up right. You’ll note I’m being very mature about this whole thing as I bought this computer because I wanted to sit around and play video games. I’m putting that on hold for the next few days while I focus on other things, like packing and work and cleaning/packing the basement.

Which reminds me – technically, the basement of out house is seen as my space so naturally, when it becomes a mess, it’s my fault. Fine, I can live with that. However, spending the past few days going through everything, I’ve learned a few things. For one thing, most of the stuff down there, IS NOT MINE!

I actually packed away my books. Well, most of them. I still have the little shelf and my comic books to pack still. I’ll get around to it eventually. I’m leaving out a few comics and a few books to keep me occupied while the move is happening. I’ve chosen, Fruit, the first three Harry Potter books, The Watchmen, Preacher Vol. 01 and Batman – Hush Returns. That should hold me.

Laptop Woes – Harley bought a new laptop for herself because she’s selfish and doesn’t like to share. Especially with her younger sister, Bill [don’t ask. I don’t get it either] who she’s hated from the day she was born. Middle children are always so jealous. Anyway, she’s on laptop exchange three now. It keeps having issues. Our thoughts and prayers are with you Harley, in this tough time. On the other hand, my lappy is back and working nicely.

Random Gossip – Congratulations go out to Judy, who has recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend. [for those wondering, reports of her father surviving his stroke when he found out are still on hold, since he doesn’t know yet. *he’s a bit racist and her boyfriend is not Chinese*]. Anyway, we’re happy for you. Also, please call me when you tell your dad.

Ok, so this next part is what I initially blogged about and then after asking one person’s opinion, decided not to post it because it seemed a tad inappropriate. But then I thought about it and it’s not really inappropriate as long as I leave this disclaimer. DO NOT READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU’RE UNDER 17! First, who the hell are you to be reading my blog? I demand you reveal yourself. Note, I said reveal. Not expose. Do not expose yourself. Not in public anyway.

Have you ever been in a situation that was already pretty uncomfortable, like being at the mosque/church/temple/etc or waiting for an interview or talking to some auntie you’ve never met or standing up in the bus during rush hour? Then all of a sudden your mind wanders and you’re now suddenly panicked because you’re turned on. If you’re a guy, you know what’s upcoming. You try your best to divert your thoughts to something less tantalizing like Stacy’s mom and realize that wasn’t a good idea. Now you’re stuck because you can’t get Stacy’s mom out of your head and there isn’t enough blood in your legs to make a run for it. Plus, you’re now humming the song so more and more people are looking in your direction. So you shift awkwardly in your chair or reach into your pocket to adjust your “cell phone” or whatever the case. But what about those moments when you can’t do anything? Like when you’re praying. [FYI, Muslims do the whole stand and sit thing while praying and you can’t be adjusting your fun bits while engaged in prayer] In girl’s cases, it’s not as blatant, but I’ve been in enough situations where you can tell something ain’t quite right. Sure, you’ve got noting peeking [well, sometimes but hardly], but the signs are there. You’re talking to a bunch of aunties and suddenly, your mind wanders to that incredibly hot, sexy man-friend of yours [Example: me. Better example: Igor] and all of a sudden you get a little flushed [known as a sex-flush, which actually sounds like the act of flushing a used condom – not the point], eyes dilate a little , breathing gets a bit funny, sudden and frequent shift of positions. Relax. Everyone noticed. No need to get hysterical. – So, here’s my thing. Those are the wrong moments to be turned on at, but what about when you’re turned on at the wrong things. Or the wrong thing gets you going? Example, someone, possibly me, but we’ll never know, was on the road a few weeks and saw a gorgeous red Ducatti 999s and was a little turned on by the whole thing. If any of you would like to share similar experiences in the comments section, please do so. It’ll be fun. Anonymously or not – your choice.

I gained some weight! OH YEA! Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY out to Reema [damned present is still in the mail] and Nomi [I haven’t shipped it yet]! If I missed anyone, I’m sorry. You’re clearly not that important to me or I’d remember. I’m joking. . . but yea, that’s probably true.

I NEED HELP! I’m developing a spending issue. I just can’t stop. In the past few weeks I’ve bought three pairs of designed sunglasses, a whole bunch of clothes, a new computer, a new 19” LCD [which is totally didn’t need], books, a damned cool lighter, a shit load of comic books, an old SNES with Donkey Kong games. A whole bunch of stuff I don’t remember. I’m actually starting to leave my Visa and debit card at home now just so I don’t have any money when I’m out minus the cash I’m carrying.

Ok – I’m going to stop now. Next time on the Sixth o’clock News – Exclusive photos of KINGOF9X, an even more exclusive Caboose’s People, and some other shit I haven’t thought about yet. But I promise to blog more frequently.

Be good.

ZQ

P.S – Quick Recap [of stuff I remember] – Sister came to visit. Lots of fun! – Went to Guelph and hung out with Nilusha. Also, lots of fun! – Nilusha is gone to Europe for two weeks – Got my LOTR trilogy back – Bought Shit – Hellish few weeks at work. 12-15 hours a day, night time, seven days a week. Not fun! – Moving stuff being finalized – Haven’t bought any new shoes [Momarian’s doing] – Ok, really. Nothing interesting.

61st - painkiller

conversation 01
"hey, how was your weekned?" - great - "did you have sex?" - no, i didn't get around to that - "why not?" - i was um, busy - "that's not a good reason" - i'm sorry? - "you're twenty. you should be having sex all the time" - silence - "there's a whole mall upstairs full of pretty girls. go have sex!" - i'm working, right now. maybe later

conversation 02
"why don't you have a a girl friend?" - i don't know. because i work about a thousand hours a week and she would feel neglected? - "are you a homosexual?" - no, i don't think so. - "what you mean, you don't think so?" - i'm not - "so, why aren't you have lots of sex?" - umm

i work with all older folk and i find it a wee disturbing how interested and concerned they are about my sex life and the lack of one. i'm constantly being questioned about it. it's worse when they start pulling other people into the conversations. is this normal workplace discussion?

pictures [above] - this is me on my way to the dentist [left] to get my wisdom teeth pulled and me later that night [right]. my dentist is friggin wicked. he did four wisdom teeth and a filling in one hour. and i basically have no swelling and feel pretty okay. i was sore for a few hours but that was it. everyone kept telling me i'm gonna be swollen like a chipmunk in the morning and stuff like that. he [the dentist] called me later in the evening to check up on me and i asked him about the potential swellings and he's like, "i'm good dentist. there will be no swelling" and there isn't.

i've got pimples in my eyebrows. well, two of them. how messed up is that?

i'm having hunger pains. the last solid thing i ate was yesterday morning around 9am. pancakes with sameera at markham station. sameera drove me to my dentist appointment so we figured we grab breakfast on the way because i was jonsing for some pancakes and the dentist told me to have a heavy breakfast since i won't be able to eat for a while afterwards. news - i got all my wisdom teeth removed yesterday and got a filling fixed.

i was driving home from downtown and i was talking to a friend of mine when i happened upon this absolutely gorgeous red ducati 999s. and i was kinda staring and probably drooling a little out of the side of my mouth. so i tell my friend about it. my friend says...

conversation 03 [abridged]
"ok, calm yourself. you seem a bit aroused by this" - ahem, a little - "that's disgusting, *name* - what? - "you're turned on by a motorcycle!" - failing to see the issue here - "you're a human being. you should be turned on by other human beings! no bikes!" - but it's a ducati 999s! a red one! i would have sex with that if it were possible and raise our little human/ducati hybrid children. - "you have issues." - you know, its normal to be aroused by a piece of pretty machinery. - "uh, no it's not" - pretty sure it is - "no, it's gross. you're a human. you should be turned on my other humans. not by some machine" - i don't see why i can't do both - "because it means some motorcycle is more boner-worthy than a human being" - sometimes...

this went on for a while. so, opinions?

pictures [left] - i'm going to start a new thing called "caboose's people" i've already got some awesome things to post here. guys, feel free to add stuff to this category.

so, here's this blog's winner. i was at yorkdale mall a few days ago and i was in the parking lot grabbing some stuff from my car, when i see this woman pull up and park. i had my camera in the car so it only seemed appropriate i share this with you people.

before reading forward, look at the two pictures and see if you can figure out why she's one of caboose's people.

did you see it? if not, look at picture number one. you can see she's parked across two parking spots. however, if you walk around the car, you can see she is in fact parked over four parking spots.

why people like her have nice cars like this very pretty purple lexus is beyond me.

yes, it's a chick. i'm not assuming it's a chich, i saw get out of the car when she parked and left.

my sister's coming to from philly today. they were supposed to be here by 10am. that was the plan as my sister put it, however this is my sister so they're going to be about three to five hours late. i love how her husband, who before my sister was always on time and pretty anal about the whole thing has kinda learned to deal with being late more often than not. married people are weird.

alright, i'm going to go. heaven forbid my sister [who lived in this house] see the place a little unorganized. parents are so strange. stranger still, my other sister.

picture [above] - how is this not boner worthy?

be good.


zq


p.s. i demand people come visit me and bring me cold things. not because i really want cold things but because it seems like the right thing to do. comics would be acceptable as well.a

60th - "parental responsibility" is not a dirty word

NOTE - I was supposed to add in the pics for this one but my cable is missing, so I will add them in later.

how the hell is 7up all natural? think about this. 7up is a carbonated beverage [pop] - this would be one of those cases of using the word 'natural' very loosely, isn't it? i understand, that technically everything is natural, but this is just taking advantage of that technicality.

i'm going to quickly recap the past 2 and a half weeks. not in order but whatever. lets start:
my car broke down on the highway. got towed. fixed. 350 bucks. stupid pile of shit - we were waiting for a truck delivery which was about 4 hours late and we found out the guy tipped over the truck because he was running late. you have to really stupid to tip over a truck. we're talking those big ass trucks that makes the truck from terminator 2 look like a hot wheel - i've been very very thirsty lately. been drinking between 5 and 9 liters of water a day. pee is still yellow - vinita is sick and a punk - sitting in the mall, this dude came and sat beside me, took his hat off, put his face in and starting crying. i mean CRYING crying. wailing. not whimpering. uncomfortable - went to wonderland. fun! found game thing involving climbing a later. will probably lose a lot of money before winning it - saw district b13. french movie. very good - saw cars. pixar movie. damned fantastic - got my camera in the mail! hurry! - bought a bunch of books. nothing new here - had a strange discussion with my family over dinner regarding cannibalism and which type of people we would eat. by family, i mean the kids of the family. not my parents and siblings. i would eat someone from argentina, between 20 and 26, medium build slightly on the soft side, vegetarian - odder discussion concerning buying second hand things which lead to beads and onto other stuff - caboose is still reading perfume. it's been more than a week. it's like 200 pages - tried black cheery vanilla coke. i like it! - still no news on this camping plan, which sucks - body hurts due to very fun day yesterday. father's day picnic. read more on that below - end recap

yesterday was an awesome day - all of my body hurts. yesterday, we took all the dad's out for a father's day picnic since today's weather is going to be total crap [more on that later]. we haven't picnic'd in a while since last summer was the weddings. anyway we managed to get in a few hours of excessive exercise. me and sarah left the picnic to get supplies [water balloons, giant rubber container, cookies, candy]. then we setup water fight number one. by this point mome was involved as well. taking the water balloon filled contained from the car [we used the car to transport the container back and forth] to our picnic area was very hard. but we made it up there and everyone had fun. the adults got involved and everything. fun way to cool everyone [water was cold] off. then we played ultimate frisbee for about an hour which was exhausting. then we left and setup round two of the water fight which took place just as everyone was starting to get the idea to leave. then all the kids [because we have no common sense] decided we're going to wonderland. as we got on the highway we decided to go to a local park instead and have a third water fight. so we did. the water was FREEZING. i mean freezing in the sense were you couldn't get used to it no matter how soaked you get. after we were good and wet and soaked, we took the wee ones home and the rest of us went home to change and shower. so gross: went home and jumped in shower and i literally felt slimy. then we all went for wings at the only place for wings, all star. edmonton won and tied the series

i know. i haven't blogged in like two weeks now. i'm sorry. all four of you who read my blog. i've been on this really screwed up thing where i've been tired every night by like 12am. really, really tired. i think it's something to do with the lack of reading this past week. i got hardly any reading done.

OH MY GOD! SPIDERMAN IS AN ASSHOLE! yesterday was new comic book day and in the marvel universe there's this civil war thing happening and there's a superhero registration act [think x-men mutant registration act] so that superheroes are responsible for their actions. the poster-boy for this campaign is none other than peter parker. yesterday, he outed himself. that's right. everyone in the marvel universe knows that spiderman is peter parker. why the hell would he do that? - this better not be like that dead superman shit in 98. OMFG! that was eight years ago! how damned old am i?

PHOTO CONTEST - i was talking to harley and i've begun work on my photo contest site. in the mean time. ugly green shirt contest. find ugly green shirts and send to me at sixth.lie@rogers.com. ugliest shirt gets prize that is yet to be determined.

i just picked up my sister from the mall and i was making a right turn at the light. i was about to make my turn when this old dude changes lanes in the intersection and almost hits me. then he actually had the nerve to slow down and swear at me. i guess since he's a thousand years old and not long for this world, he was in a hurry.

ok, about the parental responsibility thing. i'm absolutely sick and tired of these fucking useless hack parents and hillary clinton and that other asshole, what's his name, joe lieberman. PARENTS - it's not the media's job. if you think video games are too violent or that cartoons are too violent. don't let your kid play them or better yet, teach them that it's just a video game. not real life. if you're not willing to take part in your kids life and keep an eye on what they're doing and teach them right from wrong. don't be surprised when they're getting arrested for selling drugs, theft or going on a murderous rampage in their high school. your parental neglect is not my fault. it's your fault. you fix it. don't expect the government or the media to. i don't see why you lack of parenting ability has to affect the rest of us. take care of your own fucking children. POLITICIANS - do you honestly not have more important things to do than to keep gong after video game manufactures? you know, maybe the war, health care, child care, something. is this the best idea you assholes can come up with to rally those half-wit parents who just need something to blame other than themselves for the way their kids turned out? ESRB - there is a god damned rating system on games. it's called the ESRB [Electronic Software Rating Board] maybe if you pay attention to your kids and pay attention to what they're buying with their allowance money you might notice that on every video game there is a very clear rating, telling you what kind of game it is and what kind of age group it is intended for. GAMERS - most gamers are normal. yes, there are some messed up, over obsessive ones, but those types are these in every group. think religion fanatics. think star wars fanatics. think george bush [war fanatic, if you didn't catch that one]. i've played violent video games and watched violent movies my whole live. i giggle like a school girl when i play grand theft auto and i'm walking around a fictional city running over old ladies and killing hookers. but i know that it's just a video game and in real life, this kind of behavior is not the best idea.

be good


zq

p.s. i had a piece of double bubble gum and there was a fortune inside and it said, "you're old enough to better" that's not a fortune! so, here's my question for the blog. "you're old enough to know better than to . . . "

59th - lets go sky diving!

picture [above] - this here is 2000 bucks. i'm going to say it again just so you know it's not a typo. 2000 bucks. my wallet or purse [if i was ever so inclined to carry one] has never contained 2000 dollars. this is sameera's bday present to herself because everyone else rather buy themselves a car or a wicked cool camera or an xbox 360 along with a decent size HD TV. but not sameera. in her defense. she really wanted it and saved up her money and got it herself. but still. todays pictures are brought to you by sameera's camera, from sameera's bday party, which took place on may 19th, 2006 at the elephant and castle.

"did you read about his mother?", i asked. without skipping a beat, she replied, "the one who gave birth to him?" 5 bucks to whomever guesses the person who said this.

its 3am and i can't sleep. why can't i sleep? oh, many reasons. for starters, it's damned hot tonight. other than that, i just can't seem to get to sleep.

picture [left] - this was my date for the night. this is him being sexy for me because he's good like that. he took me on some totally messed up route to get where we needed to go. i kept thinking he's a serial killer taking me to some strange far-out place to kill me.

i'm pissed at shiv. i spoke to her a few days ago and she told me to read this book called the kite runner by khaled hosseni. shiv has really good taste in books so i picked it up. ok, the book is really really good but it's so bloody depressing. i actually put the book down at one point and refused to read it for two days. no, i didn't cry. you weren't wondering but i'm sure shiv was. it's a really good book, but it's so sad.

today was asmar's birthday. she's now 22. i know, she doesn't look ancient but she really is. anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASMAR! i missed the whole cake-cutting deal today because i was at workie so that sucked. i really wanted some of that cake. mmm...cake.

we went to a baseball game on saturday. it was a slow game but it was fun anyway. there was cotton candy. that made the whole thing alright. it was four bucks which is a rip off, but it came in three colours. however, two of the three colours were pink. i also had a hot dog. it was also four bucks. but it was good. it was tiny though. expensive little weenie. toronto won. then we went for dinner.

picture [right] - me and iqbal after about two minutes of being there. i'm not sure what i'm doing with my tongue. don't ask.

i ordered the jerk'd chicken sandwich. normally, i can handle spicy food but i lasted about two bites of this thing and had to give up. it was so damned spicy and it was a white-food restaurant. since when can white people eat that stuff? i ended up eating half of mome's sandwich which was good. then we went to see X3.

i'm not sure how i feel about this movie. it was good. it had lots of potential but it was just kinda bleh. it wasn't bad but it wasn't great either. so far, three of the five major movies of the summer have been disappointing. MI3 was okay. Davinci Code was dragged on. X3 was. . . i'm no sure what. Pirates looks kinda dumb and i'm afraid for superman. [no need to get weird harley, that's all i'm going to say regarding super]. momin makes a good point. if superman returns isn't good, then brian singer is responsible for screwing up two comic-movie franchises.

yesterday was fun - we played video games. then we played tennis! amaan [he's never played before but he got the hang of things pretty darn quickly] came. that was fun. first game of the summer and it was actually a good one. i bought me my own racquete finally. then we have a BBQ and i had something funny because this morning, my stomach was not happy with me.

picture [left] - the birthday girl. i chose this picture because i took it.

for the past few years now, i've noticed i have trouble with the words "uniformed" [always the same. as in character or degree] and "uninformed" [not having, showing or making use of information] when i'm reading. i also mix them up. i also end up reading about the "uninformed police officer" and i dwell on it for pages and pages wondering why was he uninformed. what didn't he know and i lose track of other shit and have to end up going back to where i read the stupid word only to find it said "uniformed". it's a really annoying.

ok, i'm leaving now. night. i'll add in the pictures from sameer'a birthday party later. i'm going to try and sleep, again. night folks.

picture [below] - last but not least. this picture looks totally inappropriate! thank you to iqbal for taking it. jerk. i look like i got caught looking at something i shouldn't be. however, whats happening is, i made fun of her and she threatened to hit me and i'm giving the "mm-hmm" sizing-up look.



zq

58th - white bread, WHAT!?

nino asked us this a few weeks ago and it's still stuck in my head.

roughly quoted - people who prefer white bread over whole grain, etc. when you're ordering food and they ask you whether you want white bread or brown bread. do you ever say brown, just so they don't judge you?

that's all. i expect comments.

57th - SIDEWAYS, FART!

picture [above] - mome, singing like nobody's there. i think he's singing some useless shit from the eighties. or a backstreet boy song. i'm hoping it's a backstreet boy son

someone of you might wanna skip this first paragraph, here. i just had the longest pee ever. i actually had time to get a wee concerned about it while it was happening. at least i'm getting enough liquids. maybe a wee too much.

we saw davinci code on saturday. biggest disappointment since the crucifixion. yes, i use that phrase for a lot of things. but seriously. i read the first few chapters of the book and i caught on to the pace and everything and yes, it seemed like a good read but i was a bit pissed at the dan brown because he's a sell out bitch. not that there's anything wrong with being a sell out bitch. if you offered me a hundred bucks to make a movie of something i wrote, i'd let you. as long as i get a percentage of ticket and merchandising sales and some creative control. but anyway, the movie was so dragged on. i mean, it just went on forever and it had very little character development. and silas(sp) was damned cool and they ever screwed up his back story. comon, ron howard, WTF? he wrote the book, knowing it was going to be made into a movie. he made it so damned easy for you. he even suggested the actors he wanted! [tom hanks wasn't it by the way] and you fudged it! the only good bits of the movie were amina getting freaked out for no reason when silas appeared. it wasn't even so much that he appeared, he was standing there and he came into focus over 2 seconds.

so far, the summer block busters have been let downs. MI3 was meh. davinci code was unexciting. xmen comes out this upcoming weekend. brian singer is not on the project. i have terrible fears regarding this movie.

the biggest news of davinci code was that saddaf came. she's such a punk. we're all set to go and she's sitting there with her parents, like a punk. not coming. i had to go in and drag her out. seriously, such a punk.

picture [right] - this is just for shiv. me looking fat. i look so soft around the edges. what the hell. i've been going to the gym!! sitting beside harley is making me look like even fatter by contrast. do i look constipated? note, the really smiley chick is pamela, harely's younger clone.

first off. lets congratulate house [the pregnant woman i've been teasing for the past few months *i will continue to call her house because i like the name* who is actually the same pregnant woman my sister beat up *while pregnant*] and rehan [who i have no nick name for] and the rest of the my family and the rest of houses family on the birth of jibran rehan *last name*. born on may 13th, 2006 at around 845. his inability to wait half an hour caused me to lose the small pool we had running. at the time jibs was being ushered into the world, i was having a salad, awaiting my rainbow trout which was quite good. reem had the butter chicken and harley, mome and pamela had very uninteresting bowtie pasta with chicken [minus harley who had no chicken] - the service was terrible but branden was still tipped well even though harely went all school teacher on us and said he's not being tipped. then we went karaoke-ing. which is definitely not my thing but i had fun. which was weird because i just watched other people sing so one would assume i'd be bored. i thought it was going to be bored out of my skull too, but i wasn't. go figure. it's fun watching other tone deaf people and reema [who is blatantly not tone deaf] sing. i also met steen [who is not a lesbian - i have no idea when i implied this] and logic by me, people i've harassed online.

picture [left] - mome and the birthday girl. you may not have noticed, she's got a thing for super and butts. don't ask.

so 13th. happy birthday jib [house couldn't wait because she wanted to squeeze in this mothers day too] 14th. happy birthday sameera and happy mothers day to all who that applies to. 15th. happy birthday harley.

note - i just remembered, harley sent me pics from her birthday. so i do have some pictures to post! hurray!

i know its been a bloody era since i've blogged but fear not - here i am. it's actually only been a touch over a month. here are my excuses. 01. ducky, my computer is dead and i haven't had the time to bring him back among the living. [sidenote, ducky is among the few pieces of technology that is male because it's reliable and does what you tell it, unlike most other pieces of technology which are invariably, female] - 02. my laptop [female] is gonna back to it's maker [HP] to have whatever issues it's having resolved. 03. i've been a little lazy. 04. this is my 5th start at blogging this. 05. a lot of shit has gone down. A LOT. so this is going to be long. long and pictureless. sorry, this reason goes back to reason 01 and 02. enjoy.

picture [right] - harley upset because the younger mome is rubbing it in her face. old age is cruel. especially when you both realize i'm ten years younger than both of you. geezers.

lets begin with something that i have a feeling is going to become a weekly mention. i hate my car. well, not so much i hate my car but i'm really considering replacing it with something else because quite frankly the stupid pile of shit is costing me most than a new car would. in the past few weeks, i've had my exhaust, two of my windows, the pipe between that catalectic converter and exhaust, the battery and some other stuff i don't remember replaced. the only things that basically need replacement are the wipers and the tired and then this car is good for another few years of abuse. hopefuly, those years won't be with me. as a note, my car is free game to whomever wants it, once i get a replacement. but that won't be for a while.

before i forget, i have to mention this. mome sent this email and it's just so bizarre.
"My editor just walked in and told us that one of our reporters is at the airport at terminal 3 dropping off family. They were hungry and went to the swiss chalet that is in the terminal and guess what they found out THE SWISS CHALET IS OUT OF CHICKEN!!!! Isnt that hilarious? Hahahaha. How can a restaurant based around chicken be out of it? So funny."

oh, so everyone who wants to help me get a new ipod, i require one dollar on a credit card, and you have to sign up for something for a week [which is the dollar] and then cancel your membership. i need five people to do this. if you do decide to do it. sign up for the galleria one. you get a 25 dollar canadian tire gift card and you can cancel within a week. if you're interesting, find me on msn because i'm not typing in all the random research because i'm damned lazy. sixth_lie@hotmail.com - oh, here's the link for the ipod thing.

ok, this was news about two weeks ago. its not really anymore. my basement. the area of the house where i hermit out has been going through a cleaning expedition, led by my sister because she was sick and tired of me saying i'll do it on the weekend. when the weekends arrived, i suddenly had things to do, which is strange because i'm generally a loner. ok, you have to make a slight leap of faith for that to fit but anyway, we're getting off topic. my basement basically has stuff everywhere and most of it isn't really garbage, it's just stuff. so i walk in last week and the place is spotless. my mom and sister cleaned the whole place. i was in semi-shock about it. i'll post pictures once my camera arrives.

speaking of cameras. everyone knows my sony v1 that have and love. well, a few months ago. new years eve to be exact. some evil nutjob woman [my sister] threw a snowball at my camera and that was the end of that. this is just to announce, that camera has moved on. it's gone to shiv who secretly coveted my camera and if she can get it fixed, she can have it. i bought me a new v1 off ebay, which im expecting this week. hurray for cameras! now i just need to get my rebel xt, with all the required stuff for it. anyone wanna give sixth 2500 bucks?

i joined a gym! can you believe that? i'm so morally opposed to formalized exercise. technically, im morally opposed to any sort of structured anything, especially ones that require you wear suits. anyway, i joined a gym. i've been like six times now. its not as bad as i thought it would be but still, it's a gym. my goal - to be able to kick shivali's ass when she gets back from india. be ready, darkie.

so, shiv and i got into an argument because i said "INDIA?!?! it's full of indians!" - somehow this was offensive. there is something wrong with indian chicks. yea, punk - i'm going there. you're a punk, a darkie punk!

so, so my list has is as follows.
01. andy
02. abbas
03. me
04. not mentioning
05. cousin from the motherland.

ok, so you really only need to be concerned with the top 3. mome has however, been making great strides to climb up this list.

sameera's bday party was this friday. i was horribly late. i took iqbal as my date. i like iqbal. we went to elephant and castle. they have blech food. after dinner, we went for coffee which was more fun than the dinner. their version of blue cheese is disgusting. ok, all i remember about that night is being really really damned cold. also, if sameera sends me those pics. i can post them, here. i should call and ask her. one minute. she's not answering her cell. i left voicemail. so, i'll add those pics to this blog when i get them.

this is worth mentioning. sameera owns a purse that cost more than my car. like, double the value of my car. in her defense, she really wanted it for two years and collected for it and got it. but still. 2 grand for a purse. you're out of your mind. that money could have spent towards buying me an xbox 360 and a HD tv. i told my mom, she replied, "is she crazy?!?! it's probably because of the black boyfriend of hers" [background story - i was talking to sameera one day on the phone and my mom asked how she's doing and i told mum she's having a fight with her boyfriend. mum replied, "she has a boyfriend?" to which i replied, "yea. he's black" - since then, poor sameera has been shit-listed by my mom.] i had no choice. i had to tell her there's no black boyfriend. i got smacked. she does that a lot. even when i don't do anything. it's her way of being affectionate. it's a lot better than the ammonia. [note - really joking]

last week, me and vin went out because i needed shoes, a haircut and a manicure. it's good to have a best friend who you can drag around while she's sick to do this kinda stuff with. we all love you vin. well, i do. i can't speak for everyone else. i'm sure shiv does too, and rosemina and that fu*ker, what-his-face. anyway, the shoes are pretty. white pumas with brown. the haircut has been well received. even smuffy, who has a think about fresh haircuts didn't say anything, which in her case is a compliment. the manicure however was kinda crappy. i was very disapointed. [and no, this is not why i'm on the list]

picture [left] - this is before karaoke-ing. from the left. pamela, harley, me, reem, mome. dinner at jack astors. a resturaunt i really dislike. this was the only time i've had good food there. australians ranbow trout. good stuff.

i got books! i was talking to shiv a few days ago and she told me to go to buy the kite runner by khaled hosseeni, so i did. i started reading is and i'm only like 15 pages in but it's very good. the problem is, its one of those books you need to be completed into and i'm currently reading about eight books. so i'm shelving it until i finish up the majors and then i'll go full into kite runner. i aldo got jpod yesterday [thanks caboose] by douglas coupland. it about a bunch of people working for a game developer in BC. i wonder who that could me? *coughE* *coughA* any ideas? oh, i also got mirrormask by gaimen which is wicked cool.

right now i am reading.
a dirty job - moore [very good. will be done by tonight, i hope]
the truth - prachette [moving along nicely]
prelude to foundation - asimov [yes again]
son of the witch - mcgregor [i just can't get into it]
wizards first rule - goodkind [yes, i'm still reading it. it's so damned boring]
fellowship of the ring - tolkien [yes, again]
endless nights - gaimem [so good]
faraway tree collection - blyton [childrens book. lots of fun]
kite runnner - hosseini [technically, i've started. shut up, shiv]
jhonny and the bomb - prachette [i read this in my car when i'm stuck in traffic]

ok. i really should get back to fixing my computer and watching lord of the rings and yes, i have a great social life. really. ok, i'm leaving now. im hungry.

be good


zq