53rd - i have MONO!

25

picture [left] - mr and mrs yalnee's parents 25th - the happy couple. also, the show stopper. that sari [non-desis: the pink outfit]is gorgeous. you can't really see it in the picture but it is. also, it's got something like, i don't remember 1200 crystals sewn into it. it looked very pretty. well, everyone looked pretty but mrs. yalnee's mom wins, hands down. sidenote, check out the cake. how friggin cool is that. yalnee's aunt should make me a cake for my birthday. i demand it. im fully aware yalnee's aunt has no idea who the hell i am and that will make things all the more awkward when i show up at her house on friday demanding cake.


i dont really. well, i might. most likely not though. IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME!!

picture [right] - mr and mrs yalnee's parents 25th - me and bobbles. don't ask about the look on my face because i really don't know. i do that.

no, i don't have mono. i've just been feeling really fatigued lately. since thursday night to be exact. thursday night, i didn't really sleep. come friday night i was in bed by 1130. 1130?!?! that's unheard of. it gets better. on saturday night, after yalnee's thing, ze kids were over at my house and i was first out. fell asleep right on the couch. that's really never happened before. i mean, what the hell is going on with my body? shiv thinks my sleeping habits are catching up to me. which is a far better answer than me having mono. i can't have mono. i don't have mono. just in case, everyone who i've hugged in the past, i dunno, say four days, go get checked.

picture [right] - mr and mrs yalnee's parents 25th - asmar, amina, mariam [who was supposed to be getting engaged but then the whole thing turned out to be a surprise party for mr. and mrs. yalnee's parents. they seemed upset about this], girl whos name slipped my mind. we were intoduced though.

so, this weekend was yalnee's parents surprise 25th anniversary party! HAPPY 25TH ANNIVERSARYto them. It was also Rehan & House's [FYI, Ook's new nickname is House due to the fact that she ate most of her family and has the appropriate dimensions and i like the show. Yes, i'm even mean to pregnant people] surprise baby shower. Both went well. There are pictures up from both of em.

lets begin at friday - i met up to hang with caboose for a couple of hours. got my birthday present, which she was all, "you're not going to like it, but that's your problem. deal with it" [yea, she's a polite one] and it was a shifty, the kleptomaniac raccoon. figurine from happy tree friends. which is wicked. thanks caboose.

picture [left] - mr and mrs yalnee's parents 25th - yalnee [outfit number 01] and her siblings whose names have already slipped my mind. i think one of the em guarav. i could probably be wrong. i'm bad with names.

then, saturday morning got hectic. i woke up early. finished up the slideshow stuff for the anniversary. went to work for a bit. went shopping with mome. bought a wicked blazer and shirt from r&w co. bought yalnee's parents a present from chapters. bad mouthed matt bray [chapters manager/penis fungus/closet homo] to a bunch of his employees. went home. met up with bobbles who came from detroit. went to the hall to help setup. got ready, went back to hall. party. went to tims to meet up with mome and co. went home to continue the hanging. fell asleep before people even left. shame on me...

picture [right] - mr and mrs yalnee's parents 25th - yalnee's outfit change for her dance. i like the red better. but really, i'm a sucker for red.

sunday. WINGS! it's a tradition. everyone who comes into this country or this town or in the bare vicinity of this town, we take to all star wings. they have the best wings. so, we took bobbles for wings. the original plan was to be eating wings by 12 because we had a baby shower to attend at 2, but we're brown people and that means we congregating around 1-ish. brown people. nonetheless, wings were excellent. then me and my sister had an argument and then we didn't talk about it. then we went to the shower, which was fun. we played cricket in the park until haider roofed the ball and that was the end of that. i napped at some point [see picture] ooo - we played sacha's harry potter scene it. which is wicked because it's got a party mode. how bad ass is that? then sacha had to go home and ruin everything. we had to sit around and talk to each other. i hate sacha.

picture [left] - baby shower - i put this picture up just so we can all see how classy i am. i love bobbles.

tonight is a new prison break. i should make a note to watch it. its soo hard watching it on tv with commercials and everything.

ok - monday night. discussion with reem. this is the past monday night, not today. i call people ugly. reem and her sister thing this is rude and use the term "unfortunate" because they feel that somehow spares their feelings or something. the word "ugly" is used for people ugly on the inside. here's my thing. if some chick said to me, "you are the ugliest pile of shit thing i have ever had the misfortune of laying eyes upon. i will pleasure this goat [points at goat] before i even considering talking to you, let alone touch you" yes, i'll be a little hurt but i'll get over it. however, if some chick turns to me and says, "you're unfortunate looking" and look a bit sad about it, a little part of me will die and i'll probably cry. which would you rather be called: ugly or unfortunate?

picture [right] - baby shower - this is house [formerly known as ook] opening presents. im telling you, she ate her family. there is no other explanation for it. due in may.

i got bored and txt-msged most people on my phone asking, "here's a fun one. what line would your mum have to cross to get smacked by you? I'm talking about eating your babies or calling you, "mums little big boy" in front of construction workers. Going into your room no count" i got a bunch of replies back. here they are. don't worry, i wont mention who said them. that would be stupid.
- "calling you a slut" [this one came back way too fast]
- "say what?" [there was a lot of this]
- "what? i would never hit my mother!" [liar]
- "if she stole one of my many bfs id give her a fresh aback hand" [you have so many, you can share]
- "[my name]. us a loser thanks 4 the text it is good 2 hear from u" [awww]

picture [left] - baby shower - sach, me and my redbull. also, in the background saddaf, asmar, bobbles, abbas and i dont know, i think ghazala auntie.

i still hate lana. how does she land superman. he could be and be tapping lois lane booty. what the fuck is wrong with clark. clarks a fag. a sweeper of the chocolate chimney, if you will. this is bullshit. superman is a wad too [compared to batman, that is]. hook up with chloe. everyone loves chloe. GOD, I HATE LANA!

wednesday morning. 7am. i'm still trying to finish up this blog. the reason i haven't finished and posted this blog yet because i've basically been out of the hosue from 7am to around 1am everyday. by the time i get home, there isn't much i wanna sit around and do. so here is my last attempt at finishing this. if i don't finish it now, i'm quit and will never speak of this blog again.

this has been an interesting week. saturday night, after yalnee's thing, i got my very first ticket. not really a big deal - parking ticket. then last night, i was driving home form downtown and i was in that final stretch where i noticed my from right headlight was out. i [honestly] made a note to get it fixed in the morning and see this cop go by the opposite direction and i'm like, "shit! i'm going to get a ticket" and sure enough, there was a u-turn and they gave me a ticket. 110 bucks - damn quotas.

picture [ left] - baby shower - bobbles, umer, and nadia. omer is cute. looks afraid all the time, but thats because there is always a se of hands touching him. i'm pretty sure ALWAYS.

im done blogging! thank GOD, i'm done. this took friggin forever. blogging should not take this long. oh shittles, now i gotta spell check everything.

oh, news. i got my t-shirts. then my parents committed a felony and opened my mail. they didn't seem t pleased with them. they're semi-offensive but common, i'm an offensive sorta person and i was never really planning on wearing them in front of them. it's more reserved for when i'm out with friends. but fine, i'm going to be gifting them away, most likely.

ok - back to whatever it is i do

be good


zq

picture [above] - baby shower - me. see, realy classy. i was exhaused.

p.s. i decided against spell.grammar checking this. i'm too tired. i'll correct throughout the week as shiv [most likely] will let me know all my mistakes.

p.s. blog recap
01. mr and mrs yalnee's 25th anniversary - shiny. lots of pretty people
02. smallville - faaking stupid and the killed ?!?!?
03. prison break holy shit. awesome. panties in a bunch
04. baby shower. loads of blue. loads of house [get it?]
05. work - going to kill me
06. life - hates me

52nd - Detroit WHAT!?!?

picture [right] - guess whose finger this is?

allo all.

ok - i'm sick and back from my weekend trip to detroit.

anyway, i bought a lappy before i left for my trip and so i was entertained while my sister was driving the van I RENTED and i got to blog while i was there. here it is. the pictures are being added in now.

"0930am And thus begins the road trip [one hour late]. It’s not so much a road trip as it is a regular trip. A road trip would imply that the road bit of the trip would be fun but I somehow doubt it. We’re about seven minutes into this trip and I’m already kind of car sick. Normally, my dad is a pretty decent drive, although slow as a turtle who had its back legs eaten by a shark. More later.

picture [left] - don't ask about the look on my face. i really don't know. but check out abbas.

1040am
The only real good thin about being curbed to the back seat is that you have the option of having a lie-down. Of course, there are two of us in the back and having a lie-down in a bit more complicated. We’re more of a lean-down. Anyway, im getting bored and this desi music is very damned loud. The songs in the beginning weren’t bad [oldies] but this new shit is just that, shit. I just heard a song where some dude kept saying, ‘just chill” I have headphones on and can still very clearly make out that music over my movie. I’ve decided to watch Wallace and Grommit. I have a “back up” of it sitting here. Back to the movie…

picture [left] - what the hell is so funny?

0330pm
I feel good. I am Red Bull-ed up and got to drive a Asima’s BMW. It’s pretty. Also, as a side note, oh Asima…that’s all. She’ll understand that. Hopefully nobody else will. My sister hasn’t changed at all. She just answered the phone, “Hellooo-oooo-oooo-oooo-oooo” I have to throw in the hyphens because he voice was fluctuating up and down during this. We watched sumo wrestling for a while. Sumo used to be about honor and respect and all that good shit, but now its just an excuse for fat people to justify why they’re fat. Ok – onto my second can of Red Bull.

1050pm
I need the bathroom. This sucks since these bathrooms don’t have exhausts. Manny is reading over my shoulder asking if I’m going to talk about her. So, here it is. Manny is being mean to me. She’s been ignoring me all day. No, she hasn’t we love Manny [and Red Bull]. All hair the Red! Anyway, I got nothing. Need bathroom, everything else is secondary. I was promised sushi. I don’t think it’s happening.

picture [right] - hadia's birthday celebration. it was a mini celebration. hadia is officially at the bottom of the hill now.

0245am
People are starting to call it quits. I really need the bathroom. I don’t think I’m going to survive till tomorrow night when I reach my own bathroom. I don’t even have any reading material. There is no internet connection here. How is that possible? I blame Nome for this. Right now, Had is sharing a story of me from when I was three, saying something about “Wa-want” [Rajwant] in Edmonton. So far the topics of discussion have been: haunted meat balls, random drunkenness, religious beatings, red bull addiction, child abuse, smoking buffalos, and parental abuse. My stomach is killing me. It’s not the I need to doodie pains but something else. Asmar has them too so it’s probably something we ate. There are vague plans for breakfast in the morning. As much as I would like it to happen, I doubt it.

1023am
Everyone is asleep. Why is everyone asleep? It’s almost 1030 in the morning – not that I’m a morning person or anything. Please, I don’t even like sunlight. Anyway, I was kinda looking forward to the vague breakfast plans mentioned earlier. I don’t think its happening. By the time I wake these guys up, and they get ready while I recover from the beating that’s administered to me, it’ll be like 2pm at the earliest. I think I’m still going to wake people up though. They can sleep in car. Except for Nad – She’s driving. I’ll be sitting pretty in the back, relaxing and watching movies. Me and Asmar were finished Mr. & Mrs. Smith – It’s entertaining but I don’t really care about it. The whole thing is like a Pottery Barn add.

picture [left] - how many of these type of pictures do you think asmar has? my guess is somewhere close to three hundred million.

1100am
We just finished watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith a little while ago. There is no way in hell a minivan can do that. We’re all pretty beat. Nadia is driving. She said she’d let me know when she’s too tired and then I’ll take over for the remaining stretch. I’m going to start watching The Island. Asmar has decided she’s going to take a nap.

0200am Home. Dropped Asmar off at home. Mum got really car sick and I ended up taking over the driving around 12. I maintain we made good time. We left at 10 and got home by 130. That van, the Pontiac Montana is terrible. It’s such a shitty ride. Handles weird, everything feels too light, will go up to six thousand rpm with the accelerator pressed a third way down, Not a fun car at all."

picture [above] - this is the best moment of the trip. dad drinking red bull for the first time. i knew he was going to make a face so i made sure to have the camera ready. check out nome in the back.

so, the trip was wicked. we went to national coney island and had this thing which was really good, minus the tomatoes. and we drove around for an hour looking for something to do, and we went to mijiers. which is a walmart type place. i hate walmart. however, smooth floors. i love smooth floors. my heelys love smooth floors. my heelys had a lot of fun too. i get really antsy when there is nothing to do. it just happens. i need to be doing something. especially when there are about seven cans of red bull sloshing around my system. mix that with endless amounts of food and sugar and crazy people - there should never be any down time.

picture [right] - there are a lot of pictures from this trip that i have no idea what the hell is going on. like this one. i'm pretty sure i'm trying to catch a football.

all in all, i had a fun weekend. now i'm sick. being sick sucks. i missed work today. i have a lot of work to do. but i still feel good about it. hopefully, tomorrow i can go in. typing is making me sick too.

Prison Break is on tonight!! boo yaa!! I'm invited to Reem's to come over and see but I don't think I'm going because of my present health. It's kinda sad. I'm bummed now.

picture [below] - this is nad, asima, nomi, me, had, sonia, abbas, asma, a baby, shakil and dori. we don't have a giant group photo of everyone.

ok - i'm off.

be good


zq

51st - my WWJD shirt isn't here yet!

good morning

it's 945am and i'm at work and i really shouldn't be blogging because i've got a whole bunch of paperwork to do.

by the way. happy birthday saddaf [who doesn't read this blog so this is kind of pointless] who is now 21 and officially past the middle age mark. also, happy birthday to my cousin azra/shagul/aji who's birthday was yesterday.

upcoming birthday wishes - happy birthday to sacha who is currently in greece or italy on a class trip. how wicked is that. how come out class trips were always so lame? and homeschooled kids didn't even get class trips [yes, i went there shiplass]. i'm mentioning sacha now because i'm probably not going to blog when her birthday rolls around in three days. i've already figured out what to get her.

this weekend was meh. friday, i had a shopping date [yes, a shopping date] with amaan [no code name because i can't think of one] and i did nothing but perpetuate the image we were giving out. i bought a red nike headband and some wrist straps. no reasons for why. but i need to get a gym membership and this might give me the wee nudge i need. i also will need to buy some track pants. i only own one pair which is currently in the possession of asmar.

has anyone seen the crossfire? it's deceptively ugly! it's pretty from the front and once you make your way around back, you go into shock. it's like those 12-size women who wear those tight-things to make themselves fit into an size 8 and when it comes off you're freaked out. i'm not saying fatties are ugly but the shock from seeing that transformation is. back to the point, crossfire is ugly.

saturday was terrible because my day just started out bad. note, the official starting point of any day is 730am. the time before that counts as the day before. i basically spent the whole day brooding. for those wondering why i was in a bad mood the entire day, you've heard this from me before. you guessed it, i don't wanna talk about it.

and sunday was interesting. one more time, DO NOT EAT AT JACK ASTOR'S! their food is terrible. we went there last night for some reason [i should have stuck to my vito vote] and the service was bad, the food was bad, the garlic bread was decent, it was loud, there were children and high school kids. terrible dining experience. Before last night, i've only been there two other times. one was march 1st, three years ago and it was terrible then and onec about 2 years ago for an appearance at a birthday party. i didn't touch the food that time though. i knew better.

and now is the start of another work week. five days of very exciting paperwork. BUT this upcoming weekend, i'm going to michigan! i can't wait. i miss those guys. they're basically just like our guys here but over there. none the less, i am very much looking forward to going.

the weekend after that i've got yalnee's parents thing. yalnee, i think its safe to mention here. i doubt your mother or father read my blog. but yea, im oddly looking forward to that. i think it's because i get to wear a blazer. i like blazers.

the weekend after that is my birthday! well, no it isn't but thats when i'll be celebrating it. birthday is on the 22nd, a wednesday. how boring is that? by the way, its either on the 31st or on the the 1st of april. not sure yet. i'll let you know. had and nome, you're still punks for not coming.

so, here is my revised birthday wish list. actually this would be the first birthday with list. possibly second, not sure.

01. r/c laser tag shocking tanks from thinkgeek.com [ok, i actually like most things from that site]
02. buddha board from green earth.
03. ipod 30gb black or ipod nano black [hadia...]
04. spring jacket
05. isimiyaki and kenneth cole signature colonge
06. books
07. clothes
08. a bookshelf [its practical]
09. money towards my xbox 360 and hdtv for the xbox [parents...]
10. shoes
11. all things fun and useless
12. dvds i dont have [batman begins, lotr extended editions, sin city, etc]
13. tickets to wicked
14. a strait jacket [i will love whomever gets me this, unless i previously hated you. in that event, i will just dislike you]

i think that's a decent list. also, any more question and you may direct them to mome who will be able to tell you almost exactly what i want.

other things i want from thinkgeek.com include: the mighty fog blaster [25] - acrobots [7] - airzooka/megazooka air gun [15 - 25] - uber orbs [20] - r/c x-ufo [190] - light sabres [120] - space monkey benders [13] - monkey benders [15] - magnet marble rollercoaster [30]. they also have fun shirts.

i have to mention this. me and shiv were at green earth a few weeks ago when she was in town and we saw this candle which was freshly picked cotton scented. this candle serves two purposes. one is to make old slave owners all nostalgic and the other to make black people feel bad without knowing why. think about it. visit your black friends and secretly light one of these candles in the house. see if the mood in the house drops. it'd worth an experiment. yes, i'm a jerk. what the hell does cotton smell like, anyway?

you know, i just spellchecked this thing and this was a very unexciting blog. i blame the office environment. it drains creativity. i'm sorry.

ok - i should go. back to lovely paperwork.

zq

p.s. wow, i took only fifteen minutes to blog this.

50th - ootebya nytemno kak u negra v zhope....

picture [right] - the birthday girl with presents and a random named umar standing in the background.

i'm convinced! i walked past that church of scientology thing the other day and this chick stopped me and was talking to me and i watched their movie. i'm so in!! - i'm just screwing with you. they're still a bunch of cultist. she wouldn't tell me what they did until i joined them.

happy 50th blog to me!

march is here and that means it's a busy month. march is always hectic. this will be a fun month! warning: three weeks to my birthday. get crackin!!

lets start off with HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIV!! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!! shiv is now 21, which makes her legal all around the world and andy is now **, which officially makes him a letch all around the world. sorry babe, you'll never live it down...

andy's gone! he took off to australia for vacation. he says he'll be back in two months but we all know he's lying. you better be back here for my birthday or there will be hell to pay. you hear me, hell to pay!! also, bring me my digery-doo. a big one. like a HUGE frikkin one that i can use to harass my neighbours in vancouver with.

this was kind of embarrassing today. embarassing and enraging. i got cut off by a smart car today! how messed up is that? i wanted to hit the guy so bad, but i resisted. also, i thought this was plenty clever. smart set is promoting which car? you guess it. very cute. you ass-bastards!

picture [left] - my new phone. the motoroal pebl in maroon. it's pretty. here's me licking my phone. i tend to lick the things i like. check out the acne. i'm too old for this shit. check out the red ears!! oh my god! check out the chins! i'm gettng fat and well on my way...

as a lot of you know, i've been buying myself shit left, right and centre. that has come to an end. it's time to start being responsible now. so far in this spree i've gotten. cellphone, shoes, pants, jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, books, stuff i can't remember, more books, and so on. i still need an ipod, an x-box, a tv and a laptop.

So, after shiv's birthday dinner at this italian place with very dissappointing food, we went a chinese kid's house party. ok, the chinese kid was named jimmy and he was umar's [the random in the first picture] friend. i go expecting liek 15-25 drunk kids, some booty being exchanged, that sorta thing but nope, found two kids playing eye-toy. naturally we joined it. eye-toy is fun. make's fatties [hardcore gamers] get some exercize. but yea, it was fun.

picture [left] - can't you feel the love? what the hell is taj doing?

OFFICIAL SIXTH NOTICE - my birthday thingy is planned for the weekend of march 31st. make sure you're free. shiplass, you're invited too. make your way to toronto. be free. i have no idea whats being done, but i feel something should be done so something will be done.

by the way, i'm pissed at mome! why the hell are there no more comments from you? hum khafa...

i saw this kid at the mall today. very nicely dressed. wicked hair. obviously someone who took considerable time getting ready. he had the meanest looking unibrow though and i'm wondering, there is no way someone who is this concerned with their outlook appearance isn't aware its there. unless...he thinks is sexy...which would totally make sense. unibrows, the next big things. i can picture is now. the magazines, the runways, the movies. the worlds eyebrows will be divided into half. everyone will have one brow.

picture [left] - i know i stuck most pics on the left - eat me. anyway, andy and shiv. outside in the cold. some people are idiots...

ok - i'm tired. i have work in the morning. this is only little bit of time i got off to sit and blog. now i'm going to read a bit and go to bed.

by the way, i'm still waiting for a whold bunch of my books to come back. gimme gimme gimme!

ok, i'm really just filling space to put in this one last picture so here i am filling up space. isn't filling up space fun? i'm going to count. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six - counting is hard. i think that's enough counting for now. i think that's enough filler two. wow, counting sure takes up a lot of space. if you read all that, you're a loser.

picture [right] - shiv, as we know and love/fear her. and humar as we find him everywhere. he really thinks that look helps him pick up women. the hand belongs to taj, one of shiv's "hoes" as shiv calls them in the pimping business.

i actually only have one picture with the birthday girl but thats ok because she's a bitch and is going to burn in hell for it anyway.

ok, sixth is off. be good.


zq

p.s. shiv is being mean to me. she will be smoten...