59th - lets go sky diving!

picture [above] - this here is 2000 bucks. i'm going to say it again just so you know it's not a typo. 2000 bucks. my wallet or purse [if i was ever so inclined to carry one] has never contained 2000 dollars. this is sameera's bday present to herself because everyone else rather buy themselves a car or a wicked cool camera or an xbox 360 along with a decent size HD TV. but not sameera. in her defense. she really wanted it and saved up her money and got it herself. but still. todays pictures are brought to you by sameera's camera, from sameera's bday party, which took place on may 19th, 2006 at the elephant and castle.

"did you read about his mother?", i asked. without skipping a beat, she replied, "the one who gave birth to him?" 5 bucks to whomever guesses the person who said this.

its 3am and i can't sleep. why can't i sleep? oh, many reasons. for starters, it's damned hot tonight. other than that, i just can't seem to get to sleep.

picture [left] - this was my date for the night. this is him being sexy for me because he's good like that. he took me on some totally messed up route to get where we needed to go. i kept thinking he's a serial killer taking me to some strange far-out place to kill me.

i'm pissed at shiv. i spoke to her a few days ago and she told me to read this book called the kite runner by khaled hosseni. shiv has really good taste in books so i picked it up. ok, the book is really really good but it's so bloody depressing. i actually put the book down at one point and refused to read it for two days. no, i didn't cry. you weren't wondering but i'm sure shiv was. it's a really good book, but it's so sad.

today was asmar's birthday. she's now 22. i know, she doesn't look ancient but she really is. anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASMAR! i missed the whole cake-cutting deal today because i was at workie so that sucked. i really wanted some of that cake. mmm...cake.

we went to a baseball game on saturday. it was a slow game but it was fun anyway. there was cotton candy. that made the whole thing alright. it was four bucks which is a rip off, but it came in three colours. however, two of the three colours were pink. i also had a hot dog. it was also four bucks. but it was good. it was tiny though. expensive little weenie. toronto won. then we went for dinner.

picture [right] - me and iqbal after about two minutes of being there. i'm not sure what i'm doing with my tongue. don't ask.

i ordered the jerk'd chicken sandwich. normally, i can handle spicy food but i lasted about two bites of this thing and had to give up. it was so damned spicy and it was a white-food restaurant. since when can white people eat that stuff? i ended up eating half of mome's sandwich which was good. then we went to see X3.

i'm not sure how i feel about this movie. it was good. it had lots of potential but it was just kinda bleh. it wasn't bad but it wasn't great either. so far, three of the five major movies of the summer have been disappointing. MI3 was okay. Davinci Code was dragged on. X3 was. . . i'm no sure what. Pirates looks kinda dumb and i'm afraid for superman. [no need to get weird harley, that's all i'm going to say regarding super]. momin makes a good point. if superman returns isn't good, then brian singer is responsible for screwing up two comic-movie franchises.

yesterday was fun - we played video games. then we played tennis! amaan [he's never played before but he got the hang of things pretty darn quickly] came. that was fun. first game of the summer and it was actually a good one. i bought me my own racquete finally. then we have a BBQ and i had something funny because this morning, my stomach was not happy with me.

picture [left] - the birthday girl. i chose this picture because i took it.

for the past few years now, i've noticed i have trouble with the words "uniformed" [always the same. as in character or degree] and "uninformed" [not having, showing or making use of information] when i'm reading. i also mix them up. i also end up reading about the "uninformed police officer" and i dwell on it for pages and pages wondering why was he uninformed. what didn't he know and i lose track of other shit and have to end up going back to where i read the stupid word only to find it said "uniformed". it's a really annoying.

ok, i'm leaving now. night. i'll add in the pictures from sameer'a birthday party later. i'm going to try and sleep, again. night folks.

picture [below] - last but not least. this picture looks totally inappropriate! thank you to iqbal for taking it. jerk. i look like i got caught looking at something i shouldn't be. however, whats happening is, i made fun of her and she threatened to hit me and i'm giving the "mm-hmm" sizing-up look.



zq

58th - white bread, WHAT!?

nino asked us this a few weeks ago and it's still stuck in my head.

roughly quoted - people who prefer white bread over whole grain, etc. when you're ordering food and they ask you whether you want white bread or brown bread. do you ever say brown, just so they don't judge you?

that's all. i expect comments.

57th - SIDEWAYS, FART!

picture [above] - mome, singing like nobody's there. i think he's singing some useless shit from the eighties. or a backstreet boy song. i'm hoping it's a backstreet boy son

someone of you might wanna skip this first paragraph, here. i just had the longest pee ever. i actually had time to get a wee concerned about it while it was happening. at least i'm getting enough liquids. maybe a wee too much.

we saw davinci code on saturday. biggest disappointment since the crucifixion. yes, i use that phrase for a lot of things. but seriously. i read the first few chapters of the book and i caught on to the pace and everything and yes, it seemed like a good read but i was a bit pissed at the dan brown because he's a sell out bitch. not that there's anything wrong with being a sell out bitch. if you offered me a hundred bucks to make a movie of something i wrote, i'd let you. as long as i get a percentage of ticket and merchandising sales and some creative control. but anyway, the movie was so dragged on. i mean, it just went on forever and it had very little character development. and silas(sp) was damned cool and they ever screwed up his back story. comon, ron howard, WTF? he wrote the book, knowing it was going to be made into a movie. he made it so damned easy for you. he even suggested the actors he wanted! [tom hanks wasn't it by the way] and you fudged it! the only good bits of the movie were amina getting freaked out for no reason when silas appeared. it wasn't even so much that he appeared, he was standing there and he came into focus over 2 seconds.

so far, the summer block busters have been let downs. MI3 was meh. davinci code was unexciting. xmen comes out this upcoming weekend. brian singer is not on the project. i have terrible fears regarding this movie.

the biggest news of davinci code was that saddaf came. she's such a punk. we're all set to go and she's sitting there with her parents, like a punk. not coming. i had to go in and drag her out. seriously, such a punk.

picture [right] - this is just for shiv. me looking fat. i look so soft around the edges. what the hell. i've been going to the gym!! sitting beside harley is making me look like even fatter by contrast. do i look constipated? note, the really smiley chick is pamela, harely's younger clone.

first off. lets congratulate house [the pregnant woman i've been teasing for the past few months *i will continue to call her house because i like the name* who is actually the same pregnant woman my sister beat up *while pregnant*] and rehan [who i have no nick name for] and the rest of the my family and the rest of houses family on the birth of jibran rehan *last name*. born on may 13th, 2006 at around 845. his inability to wait half an hour caused me to lose the small pool we had running. at the time jibs was being ushered into the world, i was having a salad, awaiting my rainbow trout which was quite good. reem had the butter chicken and harley, mome and pamela had very uninteresting bowtie pasta with chicken [minus harley who had no chicken] - the service was terrible but branden was still tipped well even though harely went all school teacher on us and said he's not being tipped. then we went karaoke-ing. which is definitely not my thing but i had fun. which was weird because i just watched other people sing so one would assume i'd be bored. i thought it was going to be bored out of my skull too, but i wasn't. go figure. it's fun watching other tone deaf people and reema [who is blatantly not tone deaf] sing. i also met steen [who is not a lesbian - i have no idea when i implied this] and logic by me, people i've harassed online.

picture [left] - mome and the birthday girl. you may not have noticed, she's got a thing for super and butts. don't ask.

so 13th. happy birthday jib [house couldn't wait because she wanted to squeeze in this mothers day too] 14th. happy birthday sameera and happy mothers day to all who that applies to. 15th. happy birthday harley.

note - i just remembered, harley sent me pics from her birthday. so i do have some pictures to post! hurray!

i know its been a bloody era since i've blogged but fear not - here i am. it's actually only been a touch over a month. here are my excuses. 01. ducky, my computer is dead and i haven't had the time to bring him back among the living. [sidenote, ducky is among the few pieces of technology that is male because it's reliable and does what you tell it, unlike most other pieces of technology which are invariably, female] - 02. my laptop [female] is gonna back to it's maker [HP] to have whatever issues it's having resolved. 03. i've been a little lazy. 04. this is my 5th start at blogging this. 05. a lot of shit has gone down. A LOT. so this is going to be long. long and pictureless. sorry, this reason goes back to reason 01 and 02. enjoy.

picture [right] - harley upset because the younger mome is rubbing it in her face. old age is cruel. especially when you both realize i'm ten years younger than both of you. geezers.

lets begin with something that i have a feeling is going to become a weekly mention. i hate my car. well, not so much i hate my car but i'm really considering replacing it with something else because quite frankly the stupid pile of shit is costing me most than a new car would. in the past few weeks, i've had my exhaust, two of my windows, the pipe between that catalectic converter and exhaust, the battery and some other stuff i don't remember replaced. the only things that basically need replacement are the wipers and the tired and then this car is good for another few years of abuse. hopefuly, those years won't be with me. as a note, my car is free game to whomever wants it, once i get a replacement. but that won't be for a while.

before i forget, i have to mention this. mome sent this email and it's just so bizarre.
"My editor just walked in and told us that one of our reporters is at the airport at terminal 3 dropping off family. They were hungry and went to the swiss chalet that is in the terminal and guess what they found out THE SWISS CHALET IS OUT OF CHICKEN!!!! Isnt that hilarious? Hahahaha. How can a restaurant based around chicken be out of it? So funny."

oh, so everyone who wants to help me get a new ipod, i require one dollar on a credit card, and you have to sign up for something for a week [which is the dollar] and then cancel your membership. i need five people to do this. if you do decide to do it. sign up for the galleria one. you get a 25 dollar canadian tire gift card and you can cancel within a week. if you're interesting, find me on msn because i'm not typing in all the random research because i'm damned lazy. sixth_lie@hotmail.com - oh, here's the link for the ipod thing.

ok, this was news about two weeks ago. its not really anymore. my basement. the area of the house where i hermit out has been going through a cleaning expedition, led by my sister because she was sick and tired of me saying i'll do it on the weekend. when the weekends arrived, i suddenly had things to do, which is strange because i'm generally a loner. ok, you have to make a slight leap of faith for that to fit but anyway, we're getting off topic. my basement basically has stuff everywhere and most of it isn't really garbage, it's just stuff. so i walk in last week and the place is spotless. my mom and sister cleaned the whole place. i was in semi-shock about it. i'll post pictures once my camera arrives.

speaking of cameras. everyone knows my sony v1 that have and love. well, a few months ago. new years eve to be exact. some evil nutjob woman [my sister] threw a snowball at my camera and that was the end of that. this is just to announce, that camera has moved on. it's gone to shiv who secretly coveted my camera and if she can get it fixed, she can have it. i bought me a new v1 off ebay, which im expecting this week. hurray for cameras! now i just need to get my rebel xt, with all the required stuff for it. anyone wanna give sixth 2500 bucks?

i joined a gym! can you believe that? i'm so morally opposed to formalized exercise. technically, im morally opposed to any sort of structured anything, especially ones that require you wear suits. anyway, i joined a gym. i've been like six times now. its not as bad as i thought it would be but still, it's a gym. my goal - to be able to kick shivali's ass when she gets back from india. be ready, darkie.

so, shiv and i got into an argument because i said "INDIA?!?! it's full of indians!" - somehow this was offensive. there is something wrong with indian chicks. yea, punk - i'm going there. you're a punk, a darkie punk!

so, so my list has is as follows.
01. andy
02. abbas
03. me
04. not mentioning
05. cousin from the motherland.

ok, so you really only need to be concerned with the top 3. mome has however, been making great strides to climb up this list.

sameera's bday party was this friday. i was horribly late. i took iqbal as my date. i like iqbal. we went to elephant and castle. they have blech food. after dinner, we went for coffee which was more fun than the dinner. their version of blue cheese is disgusting. ok, all i remember about that night is being really really damned cold. also, if sameera sends me those pics. i can post them, here. i should call and ask her. one minute. she's not answering her cell. i left voicemail. so, i'll add those pics to this blog when i get them.

this is worth mentioning. sameera owns a purse that cost more than my car. like, double the value of my car. in her defense, she really wanted it for two years and collected for it and got it. but still. 2 grand for a purse. you're out of your mind. that money could have spent towards buying me an xbox 360 and a HD tv. i told my mom, she replied, "is she crazy?!?! it's probably because of the black boyfriend of hers" [background story - i was talking to sameera one day on the phone and my mom asked how she's doing and i told mum she's having a fight with her boyfriend. mum replied, "she has a boyfriend?" to which i replied, "yea. he's black" - since then, poor sameera has been shit-listed by my mom.] i had no choice. i had to tell her there's no black boyfriend. i got smacked. she does that a lot. even when i don't do anything. it's her way of being affectionate. it's a lot better than the ammonia. [note - really joking]

last week, me and vin went out because i needed shoes, a haircut and a manicure. it's good to have a best friend who you can drag around while she's sick to do this kinda stuff with. we all love you vin. well, i do. i can't speak for everyone else. i'm sure shiv does too, and rosemina and that fu*ker, what-his-face. anyway, the shoes are pretty. white pumas with brown. the haircut has been well received. even smuffy, who has a think about fresh haircuts didn't say anything, which in her case is a compliment. the manicure however was kinda crappy. i was very disapointed. [and no, this is not why i'm on the list]

picture [left] - this is before karaoke-ing. from the left. pamela, harley, me, reem, mome. dinner at jack astors. a resturaunt i really dislike. this was the only time i've had good food there. australians ranbow trout. good stuff.

i got books! i was talking to shiv a few days ago and she told me to go to buy the kite runner by khaled hosseeni, so i did. i started reading is and i'm only like 15 pages in but it's very good. the problem is, its one of those books you need to be completed into and i'm currently reading about eight books. so i'm shelving it until i finish up the majors and then i'll go full into kite runner. i aldo got jpod yesterday [thanks caboose] by douglas coupland. it about a bunch of people working for a game developer in BC. i wonder who that could me? *coughE* *coughA* any ideas? oh, i also got mirrormask by gaimen which is wicked cool.

right now i am reading.
a dirty job - moore [very good. will be done by tonight, i hope]
the truth - prachette [moving along nicely]
prelude to foundation - asimov [yes again]
son of the witch - mcgregor [i just can't get into it]
wizards first rule - goodkind [yes, i'm still reading it. it's so damned boring]
fellowship of the ring - tolkien [yes, again]
endless nights - gaimem [so good]
faraway tree collection - blyton [childrens book. lots of fun]
kite runnner - hosseini [technically, i've started. shut up, shiv]
jhonny and the bomb - prachette [i read this in my car when i'm stuck in traffic]

ok. i really should get back to fixing my computer and watching lord of the rings and yes, i have a great social life. really. ok, i'm leaving now. im hungry.

be good


zq