HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!! I still have to get him something and have no idea what that could be. Also, it was Iqbal's birthday yesterday. I already got him something.
I woke up this morning and found I had a bit of time on my hands and not much to do. Well, much to do but not much I was willing to do. So I got ready and spent a little more time than normal on the morning routine. You know, did everything carefully, didn't rush anything, took my time, paid attention to detail. I'm driving to work and it hits me. In all my carefulness and detailing, I forgot to brush my teeth. DAMNIT!! Luckily, I keep a spare tooth brush, but still. All that hard work for nothing.
Alright, so I'm going to discuss something boy-related, The Guy Code. This is kind of the like The Bro Code. Well, actually, it's exactly like that. We all know the basics so here are some of the more random ones and some I just don't plain agree with.
"You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan."
This is pretty straight forward and requires no commentary on my part however, If that cat is a two headed ugly monstrosity that smokes a pack of Guerrero Blacks, then you can probably gloat and have people buy you drinks. Just don't wear it over your head.
"If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy."
Oh, Alan. You fat stupid pervert. You so had that wuppin coming.
"If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either."
I'm half in half about this one.
"An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year"
Seriously!! Don't celebrate every month you've managed to do what you've been doing for five years! Happy 36th Month Anniversary, BABY!! - wait. that one works.
"A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body."
I'm going to go ahead and have to disagree with this one. You'll find, a lot of the Guy/Bro code was initially developed by those guys. You know the ones I'm talking about and although, they provided a good foundation, this is the new age and changes to suit the times must be made. Good dress sense is important.
"Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tightys. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes."
AGREED!! What the hell people? If you feel you still need the support a preschooler needs, boxer briefs. However, whitey tightys under swimming trunks are acceptable for obvious reasons. Side note - Boxer briefs can achieve the desired affect as well.
"If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it."
Hehe. It doesn't need to explained but you guys have seen it in public bathrooms where someone is jiggling just a little bit too much or just a bit too enthusiastically. Don't do it.
"Thou shalt not make make eye contact during a Devil’s Three-way"
It also goes without saying that ass-grabbing to, "feel the rhythm" is also not permitted. Also
rhythm is pretty damned impossible to spell.
"Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl’s wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother."
It's a pretty obvious one but it needs to be said, just to remind people, that if you're ever wondering why that dude is hitting on the whale, check for her best friend and who's hitting on her. Don't be so hasty to judge.
I think that's enough rules. My most masculine blog yet. Yes, I'm aware the fact that I draw attention to it being a manly blog only takes away from it. Shut up.
This was a decent filler blog, no?
Be good.
zQ
August 28, 2008
August 20, 2008
120th - Andy, read this Blog!
Nadia enters her room.
Momin: *singing* "you're so gay, and you don't even like boys..."*
Nadia: Is that Andy's song?
Me: Wow, Nadia. That was cold. Andy just got burnt from thousands of kilometers away.
This happened a few weeks ago while me and Mome were trying to install a new door knob and discovering how there are way to many "That's what she said!" jokes to be had in such an event, and it was way too funny to not write about. Andy got punked and he wasn't even here for it. At least you know we still think about you.
I was bored and rifling through facebook photos. You'll note that when I get really really REALLY bored and have eliminated all other options of entertainment/time pass, I go through facebook albums and comment on people's photos. I feel compelled to share this with you. Coloured contacts look awful! I mean, you could be a very pretty girl with nice everything and then we get your eyes and see these blue, zombie dead eyes staring at you and you're suddenly wishing that The great of Sauron would appear because it's less frightening [and lively looking] and it ruins everything. Who do you think is falling for it? Also, why is there such an opposition to brown eyes? Because they're a common eye colour? That makes looking like the undead more desirable? I think it's far more impressive to have someone think you have pretty brown eyes than say, "Oh my GOD! You have little squinty eyes! [Ellen Pompeo] That's so pretty! They've blue!" If you have nice blue/green/gray/non-brown eyes, that's awesome but it sucks for you because however pretty your eyes may be, most of the credit will go to them being a non-brown colour and nothing else. Also, just because you have pretty eyes, doesn't mean you're attractive. It means you have an attractive feature.
This is for everyone who gets annoyed with Bikers on the road. - The other day, I was downtown and was walking to Mr. Sub to get me some foodstuffs. The light turns green and walk signal chimes up and I, along with all my fellow pedestrians start walking. The dude on the bike [who once on the road is to subject to vehicle laws since it's considered a vehicle], decides that normal vehicle road laws don't apply to him and decides to make his right turn [which cars normally have to wait to make if there are people crossing the road] and sees a 2 foot gap between me and the person in front of me and goes for it. In doing so, he clips with his handle bar and then with his pedal. Then he looks back and decides to keep pedaling. Before I went out, I managed to grab the back of him and pull him the hell off his bike. So he fell and his shit fell all over the floor, including his new iPhone. He gets up all pissed off and shit and looks at me, yelling and swearing. "Do you have eye balls? You hit me, dick." People are watching. He continues being pissed that I pull him off his bike. And then it hit me - the reason Bikers shouldn't be allowed on the street or be considered/treated as vehicles. As someone who drives a hell lot and someone who pays way too much for insurance and someone who has two friends being sued for ridiculous amounts of money for run-ins with bikers on the road, the reasons Bikers should not be allowed on roads or treated/considered as vehicles is because they don't have insurance [or licenses]. Everything else on the road has insurance. When we make a mistake or do something stupid, we're liable and we have insurance to pay for anything we're responsible for. Bikers however, don't have insurance or are licensed. Initially I thought I was just a little bruised up, but yesterday I found out [which is kind of sad that I didn't notice this sooner] that one of my teeth is busted and will be needing Dental attention. Since I don't have dental insurance through work/school/etc, it's going to cost me a few hundred bucks out of my pocket. Now, if this was the case where I was in my car and I hit him and he needed dental care, I would have to pay for it, or my insurance company would.
Dental plans are fucking expensive. I was looking at plans because I think I should get one and they're like 100 bucks a month. I don't get 1200 dollars worth of dental work done in a year. And they don't even cover all of it. They only cover up to 85 percent. If anyone has any suggestions/advice, please help. So far, I'm looking at Blue Cross as the winner. Dental/Drugs/Travel/Hospital etc for 140 a month. Also, turns out everyone in my house has coverage but me. ?
People with Rogers/Fido iPhone. Beware! You're being bent over and don't even realize it. Make sure you've covered your bases in regards to the data plans/usage. It's happening to a lot of people and it's a huge hassle. I hate you Rogers. Although, I'm cool with Ted.
Yesterday, along with finding out my tooth is busted - I also found out I have an inner ear infection. Both of these things on the right side. These two things together result in the right side of my face to be in constant pain with the occasional sharp pain in my ear. I also can't do that ear popping thing because it hurts like a bitch. I should note this isn't something I do very often but now that I know I shouldn't, I can't stop doing it. Every time I do it, I end up wincing in pain.
In conclusion, be nice to me and visit!
Be good.
zQ
Momin: *singing* "you're so gay, and you don't even like boys..."*
Nadia: Is that Andy's song?
Me: Wow, Nadia. That was cold. Andy just got burnt from thousands of kilometers away.
This happened a few weeks ago while me and Mome were trying to install a new door knob and discovering how there are way to many "That's what she said!" jokes to be had in such an event, and it was way too funny to not write about. Andy got punked and he wasn't even here for it. At least you know we still think about you.
I was bored and rifling through facebook photos. You'll note that when I get really really REALLY bored and have eliminated all other options of entertainment/time pass, I go through facebook albums and comment on people's photos. I feel compelled to share this with you. Coloured contacts look awful! I mean, you could be a very pretty girl with nice everything and then we get your eyes and see these blue, zombie dead eyes staring at you and you're suddenly wishing that The great of Sauron would appear because it's less frightening [and lively looking] and it ruins everything. Who do you think is falling for it? Also, why is there such an opposition to brown eyes? Because they're a common eye colour? That makes looking like the undead more desirable? I think it's far more impressive to have someone think you have pretty brown eyes than say, "Oh my GOD! You have little squinty eyes! [Ellen Pompeo] That's so pretty! They've blue!" If you have nice blue/green/gray/non-brown eyes, that's awesome but it sucks for you because however pretty your eyes may be, most of the credit will go to them being a non-brown colour and nothing else. Also, just because you have pretty eyes, doesn't mean you're attractive. It means you have an attractive feature.
This is for everyone who gets annoyed with Bikers on the road. - The other day, I was downtown and was walking to Mr. Sub to get me some foodstuffs. The light turns green and walk signal chimes up and I, along with all my fellow pedestrians start walking. The dude on the bike [who once on the road is to subject to vehicle laws since it's considered a vehicle], decides that normal vehicle road laws don't apply to him and decides to make his right turn [which cars normally have to wait to make if there are people crossing the road] and sees a 2 foot gap between me and the person in front of me and goes for it. In doing so, he clips with his handle bar and then with his pedal. Then he looks back and decides to keep pedaling. Before I went out, I managed to grab the back of him and pull him the hell off his bike. So he fell and his shit fell all over the floor, including his new iPhone. He gets up all pissed off and shit and looks at me, yelling and swearing. "Do you have eye balls? You hit me, dick." People are watching. He continues being pissed that I pull him off his bike. And then it hit me - the reason Bikers shouldn't be allowed on the street or be considered/treated as vehicles. As someone who drives a hell lot and someone who pays way too much for insurance and someone who has two friends being sued for ridiculous amounts of money for run-ins with bikers on the road, the reasons Bikers should not be allowed on roads or treated/considered as vehicles is because they don't have insurance [or licenses]. Everything else on the road has insurance. When we make a mistake or do something stupid, we're liable and we have insurance to pay for anything we're responsible for. Bikers however, don't have insurance or are licensed. Initially I thought I was just a little bruised up, but yesterday I found out [which is kind of sad that I didn't notice this sooner] that one of my teeth is busted and will be needing Dental attention. Since I don't have dental insurance through work/school/etc, it's going to cost me a few hundred bucks out of my pocket. Now, if this was the case where I was in my car and I hit him and he needed dental care, I would have to pay for it, or my insurance company would.
Dental plans are fucking expensive. I was looking at plans because I think I should get one and they're like 100 bucks a month. I don't get 1200 dollars worth of dental work done in a year. And they don't even cover all of it. They only cover up to 85 percent. If anyone has any suggestions/advice, please help. So far, I'm looking at Blue Cross as the winner. Dental/Drugs/Travel/Hospital etc for 140 a month. Also, turns out everyone in my house has coverage but me. ?
People with Rogers/Fido iPhone. Beware! You're being bent over and don't even realize it. Make sure you've covered your bases in regards to the data plans/usage. It's happening to a lot of people and it's a huge hassle. I hate you Rogers. Although, I'm cool with Ted.
Yesterday, along with finding out my tooth is busted - I also found out I have an inner ear infection. Both of these things on the right side. These two things together result in the right side of my face to be in constant pain with the occasional sharp pain in my ear. I also can't do that ear popping thing because it hurts like a bitch. I should note this isn't something I do very often but now that I know I shouldn't, I can't stop doing it. Every time I do it, I end up wincing in pain.
In conclusion, be nice to me and visit!
Be good.
zQ
August 18, 2008
119th - Be Immortal in my World
Those were the words in my brain when I woke up this morning. Followed quickly by, "Ow. My leg hurts." Which incidentally turned out to be the reason I woke up. Dad hit my leg with the door. I should clarify that Kamph um das Bett [The Battle for the Bed] has begun once more and I am on the losing side and therefore sleeping on the floor. Anyway, consult your Dream Dictionaries and what not and figure out what possibly could, "Be immortal in my world." mean. It seems like I was offering to turn someone into a vampire.
Side note - I am very disappointed in the lack of commenting on my previous blog. My blog is wonderful, environmentally friendly machine that runs on props. That and I actually asked a serious question that I needed some help with. Way to help out a guy in need. I'll remember this next time you need your computer fixed or some shit.
I can hear someone clipping their fingernails in the next room. I hate cutting my nails. It's such a ghastly feeling and a hassle to boot. Which reminds me, that photo from Tennessee hasn't cropped up yet. If it has, I'm yet to stumble upon it. Meh.
Tims run was made. A bagel, a vanilla parfait and a cold bottle of Bawls was had and my stomach is happy. The Bawls bottles are shiny and glimmery now. Either that or I've been drinking old Bawls all this time. Haha. That sounds wrong. Fresh Bawls is always preferred. Man, I wish that Red Bull chick was here. I'd hit her.
Someone who's skilled in Facebook, explain this to me. Why does Facebook think I am dying to know what everyone who has ever read Choke by Chuck Palahniuk thinks about it. Everyone time someone reviews that damn book, I get an email saying, So-in-So has reviewed Choke. What the hell? Yes, I have the bookshelf application but guess what, there are other books on that list. Tons MORE! Leave me the hell alone. I don't know who Keith is and couldn't give a shit less about what he thought of Chuck's book! Fu*k you Keith!
I'm angry now. I'm quitting this blog for the day. I'm gonna go. Eat some Lucky Charms. Regroup. Try again later.
Be good.
zQ
p.s. Parents who check odometers are vindictive.
Side note - I am very disappointed in the lack of commenting on my previous blog. My blog is wonderful, environmentally friendly machine that runs on props. That and I actually asked a serious question that I needed some help with. Way to help out a guy in need. I'll remember this next time you need your computer fixed or some shit.
I can hear someone clipping their fingernails in the next room. I hate cutting my nails. It's such a ghastly feeling and a hassle to boot. Which reminds me, that photo from Tennessee hasn't cropped up yet. If it has, I'm yet to stumble upon it. Meh.
Tims run was made. A bagel, a vanilla parfait and a cold bottle of Bawls was had and my stomach is happy. The Bawls bottles are shiny and glimmery now. Either that or I've been drinking old Bawls all this time. Haha. That sounds wrong. Fresh Bawls is always preferred. Man, I wish that Red Bull chick was here. I'd hit her.
Someone who's skilled in Facebook, explain this to me. Why does Facebook think I am dying to know what everyone who has ever read Choke by Chuck Palahniuk thinks about it. Everyone time someone reviews that damn book, I get an email saying, So-in-So has reviewed Choke. What the hell? Yes, I have the bookshelf application but guess what, there are other books on that list. Tons MORE! Leave me the hell alone. I don't know who Keith is and couldn't give a shit less about what he thought of Chuck's book! Fu*k you Keith!
I'm angry now. I'm quitting this blog for the day. I'm gonna go. Eat some Lucky Charms. Regroup. Try again later.
Be good.
zQ
p.s. Parents who check odometers are vindictive.
August 11, 2008
118th - $3.98
I got bored and counted. I have thirty-seven dollars and forty-five cents in my car ash tray, half of which is not toonies and loonies. I do believe this calls for a Tim Hortons run.
A lot of people know this about me, but I'm going to mention my habit of giving cashiers arbitrary amounts of change with bills to make the whole process more confusing. This works especially well when you hang them the bills first and then hand them the coins right after they've punched in the amount of the bills. Then they try to figure it out themselves. If you're daring, while they're working that out, say, "Oh, sorry. I messed that up." and hand them a nickel with two additional pennies. Sevens confuse people.
Feeling much better now that a Tim Hortons run has been made and as I sit here snacking on my delicious Vanilla Parfait, I'm thinking to myself that Mome and Shivs can suck it. Shiv because there is no Tim Hortons where she comes from and Momin because he makes fun of me about liking Vanilla Parfaits. They're delicious. Deal with it. Oh, I also got a plain bagel, half toasted with herd and garlic cream cheese.
Lately, I've been getting the feeling everyone is a little down about something. Currently, I am feeling pukey and the left side of my abdomen hurts. Also, strange Taste of Danforth food causes diarrhea. Put all these together and you have the recipe for a not-all-that-happy camper. Others are perhaps going through more meaningful bouts of depression or are just gassy. It really makes people all sad and pissy. But yeah, I've been noticing it. Everyone is a little down about something or another. Except for Momin who was over joyed at the explosion yesterday morning at Keele & Wilson.
On a brighter note, tonight is a Batman Begins night! Mostly since my sister, Hadia - Who you may remember from such events as: The birth of Bigby, The Levis Incident and How to be Unreasonably late to your own Birthday party in your own house while at Home - hasn't seen it. Which is in turn thwarting my attempts to go see Dark Knight for the fifth time since it has been decreed my next viewing will be with her. By the by, if you guys haven't already, go check out Gotham Knight. Think Animatrix but for Batman. It's not great, especially compared to Batman Begins and Dark Knight but it'll fill that craving for more Batman. Plus the animations are at the very least respectable.
Side note, a dollar goes to whomever figured out the what $3.98 in the title is about.
Is it wrong to setup a friend for something you're pretty sure they're going to pissed off about when they find out but it promises to be THIS much fun. I mean, sure, this much fun is a given in any situation but the potential of THIS much fun is very attractive. I'm kind of fence sitting on this one, even though I'm fairly sure I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway. I hate these stupid moral obstacles that come up, especially since we all know I deal in temptation and I can't fight my own creeds. Damnit, MAN!!
This came up in conversation the other day. This might come out a little jumbled since I'm barely sure of what the hell I'm trying to say here. If I'm up to something I know to be stupid, but I want some company along the road, is there some sort of moral issue in convincing others to join me since I am doing it with them and not just sending them off to face the stupidity themselves? Do they have the right to be pissed at me if stupidity I had foreseen ensues and someone gets their boot eaten by a shark? Do I have some sort of responsibility towards these people even though I never assumed a leading position, just a suggesting one? - You know, after fifteen tries at making that clear, that's the best I could do. Hope it makes sense.
ADD IN!! I was just speaking to Momes and I figured it out. That whole two paragraphs of garble is boiled down to: Am I responsible for the stupid things people do because I may have possibly suggested them?
Be good.
zQ
p.s. I'm pretty sure that second-last paragraph made no sense to anybody. It was more for me than anything else. Peace, bitches.
A lot of people know this about me, but I'm going to mention my habit of giving cashiers arbitrary amounts of change with bills to make the whole process more confusing. This works especially well when you hang them the bills first and then hand them the coins right after they've punched in the amount of the bills. Then they try to figure it out themselves. If you're daring, while they're working that out, say, "Oh, sorry. I messed that up." and hand them a nickel with two additional pennies. Sevens confuse people.
Feeling much better now that a Tim Hortons run has been made and as I sit here snacking on my delicious Vanilla Parfait, I'm thinking to myself that Mome and Shivs can suck it. Shiv because there is no Tim Hortons where she comes from and Momin because he makes fun of me about liking Vanilla Parfaits. They're delicious. Deal with it. Oh, I also got a plain bagel, half toasted with herd and garlic cream cheese.
Lately, I've been getting the feeling everyone is a little down about something. Currently, I am feeling pukey and the left side of my abdomen hurts. Also, strange Taste of Danforth food causes diarrhea. Put all these together and you have the recipe for a not-all-that-happy camper. Others are perhaps going through more meaningful bouts of depression or are just gassy. It really makes people all sad and pissy. But yeah, I've been noticing it. Everyone is a little down about something or another. Except for Momin who was over joyed at the explosion yesterday morning at Keele & Wilson.
On a brighter note, tonight is a Batman Begins night! Mostly since my sister, Hadia - Who you may remember from such events as: The birth of Bigby, The Levis Incident and How to be Unreasonably late to your own Birthday party in your own house while at Home - hasn't seen it. Which is in turn thwarting my attempts to go see Dark Knight for the fifth time since it has been decreed my next viewing will be with her. By the by, if you guys haven't already, go check out Gotham Knight. Think Animatrix but for Batman. It's not great, especially compared to Batman Begins and Dark Knight but it'll fill that craving for more Batman. Plus the animations are at the very least respectable.
Side note, a dollar goes to whomever figured out the what $3.98 in the title is about.
Is it wrong to setup a friend for something you're pretty sure they're going to pissed off about when they find out but it promises to be THIS much fun. I mean, sure, this much fun is a given in any situation but the potential of THIS much fun is very attractive. I'm kind of fence sitting on this one, even though I'm fairly sure I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway. I hate these stupid moral obstacles that come up, especially since we all know I deal in temptation and I can't fight my own creeds. Damnit, MAN!!
This came up in conversation the other day. This might come out a little jumbled since I'm barely sure of what the hell I'm trying to say here. If I'm up to something I know to be stupid, but I want some company along the road, is there some sort of moral issue in convincing others to join me since I am doing it with them and not just sending them off to face the stupidity themselves? Do they have the right to be pissed at me if stupidity I had foreseen ensues and someone gets their boot eaten by a shark? Do I have some sort of responsibility towards these people even though I never assumed a leading position, just a suggesting one? - You know, after fifteen tries at making that clear, that's the best I could do. Hope it makes sense.
ADD IN!! I was just speaking to Momes and I figured it out. That whole two paragraphs of garble is boiled down to: Am I responsible for the stupid things people do because I may have possibly suggested them?
Be good.
zQ
p.s. I'm pretty sure that second-last paragraph made no sense to anybody. It was more for me than anything else. Peace, bitches.
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