February 9, 2007

71st - I've never felt this much joy for someone else's misfortune

It's 400 in the AMs and this is what's going through my mind.

Zaffar - I want grapes.
Sixth - Screw that. You want a Hot Dog.
Zaffar - I want a hot dog.
Sixth - Good girl
Zaffar - And grapes.
Sixth - Where the hell are you gonna get grapes at this hour?
Zaffar - Dominion. No, Sobeys. They're grapes are probably less soft.
Sixth - But hot dog.
Zaffar - I can get both.
Sixth - Fatass
Zaffar - I hope there's a hot dog vendor open at this hour.
Sixth - Me too.

So we go looking for a Hot Dog vendor and lo and behold, we find one. Sucked for him that he was working at that hour but YAY! for me. Then after a run in with a wierd homeless guy who wouldn't take my extra hot dog but asked me for more money [after i gave him a twoonie and explained to him I had no more money. I really didn't], I was driving to Sobey's, I got spot checked while trying to stuff as much hot dog into my face as possible.

Officer - Good evening, sir.
Me - Hgh!
Officer - Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Me - Nao! Nft Reawy! *I put up my finger asking for a minute* No, no drinking.
Officer - Where are you headed?
Me - Sobey's, I want grapes.
Officer - You know, it's not really safe eating that while driving.
Me - I know, but it was getting cold. Want one?
Officer - No. Where did you find a hot dog guy at this time?
Me - Yonge & Wellesley.
Officer - You drove down town to get a hot dog? [note - i was at the 401 and Nielson]
Me - *pause* No, I was working downtown. That would be crazy.
Officer - Alright, go ahead.

He gave me a weird look as I drove away, continuing to stuff my face. I went and got my grapes and went home. They were delicious.

I feel like wearing a tie today.


ZQ

7 comments:

Unknown said...

is that how you spell twoonie? i thought it was toonie. but i know its a two and the oonie from the loonie. but when i see twoonie i feel like saying t'woo'nee.

fyi - the 'word verifiqation' for this comment is bktcqzq

Sarah Q. said...

Only you dude. lol Only you!
U just made me wanna blog. I was fully not ganna for another week or so but now u made me wanna blog. You also made me want a hotdog. Not so much the grapes ... but ... hmm.... actually what the hell... grapes sound good too. The real big question is ... y the hell am i having these crazy ass cravings?! sheesh. lol

Anyhow ... so like i said .. u made me wanna blog so i will go blog.

And Iqbal .... t'woo'nee???? What the heck is wrong with u lol.

Anonymous said...

do u enjoy being this random?
I can't believe I had to read ur quest for hot dogs and grapes... and ur running monologue with ur one remaining self. *durrh*

I'm sure I'll have to hear this lame ass story another billion times on the phone again. (Already heard it once)

Yeh...u can call me when u have to tell me abt ur bloody need for hot dogs and grapes.

*yes..im STILL pissed*

jerk!

sixth lie said...

look! i said i was sorry. - what more do you want from me?

sixth lie said...

look! i said i was sorry. - what more do you want from me?

Mr. Horse said...

You're a weirdo.

Anonymous said...

You're very random. I like it.

Why a tie?