130th - Genetic Defects: The Upside.

Begin by watching as much of this video as you possibly can. I'll understand if you don't make it past thirty seconds. Don't worry. It's not the Two Girls One Cup thing.

WHY? Why Scarlet? You were all hot and pretty and slutty, so I've been told by people. Girls mostly, so they could just be hating. Why the hell did you need to express your self, for lack of a better word, musically? WHY??? Just sit/stand around and look the way you do. That's all we've ever wanted from you. The fact that you're a great actress is HUGE bonus. Why did you have to try you hand at singing.

The only upside to this was that I feel a little better about my families hereditary crappy hearing abilities. I don't have those yet, but I don't dread that day as much anymore. I would have gone to jail for the things I would have done to you, but now I'll just get a slap on the wrist. You ruined everything.

I was at Staples a couple of days ago and I've decided to be complimented about this but this was the strangest compliment ever. I was paying for my Compressed Air Cans [more on that later] and the cashier was like, "You look bad today.", to which I responded, "I have feelings, you know.", to which she replied, "You normally are better cleaned up and dressed.", I said, "Oh." then I thought, I think this is a compliment of sorts?, to which she said, "You're slipping." I said, "I'll do better next time." Which brings us to the Compressed Air story.

So, on Wednesday, I ended up going to like eight different stores looking for Compressed Air to clean out this particularly nasty computer I was working on. Nobody seemed to carry it. I began to wonder if it was banned or something. Staples had some. So I asked them. Turns out there is some law about not selling it to people under 19. I found this out because I didn't have ID and the cashier was new and didn't know me. Eventually one who knew me saw came to my rescure. We had that conversation in the previous paragraph. Also, apparently, I look young. Seventeen-young. So, yes, you can't sell compressed air cans to peoples under the age of 19 [so a lot of shops stopped bothering to carry it to avoid the hassle] because - wait for it - The dumb shits have been SNIFFING to get high. IT'S FIFTEEN BUCKS A CAN!! DRUGS ARE CHEAPER!! And as it turns out, more readily available. I looked more into this. It'll actually cause mutations with any kids you have, so drugs are slightly safer as well. WTF!! Any asshat who's been sniffing compressed air, don't procreate. Not because I care abuot your offspring, but you'll birth more asshats like yourself who'll cause me 10 minute delays at stores having to show ID for fu*king compressed air. Dumbshits.

Also, the Nokia N95. I has it. No more iPhone.


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