75th - feeling warm and fuzzy...on the inside

You ever get that warm proper feeling when you properly act like a complete dick to someone? No? You don't know what you're missing.

I hate malls. i hate them beyond belief. Every time I spent more than 42 minutes in a mall, I get upset and then I'm in a crappy mood all day. So it's Saturday morning, I've slept about three hours, my brother finished my Cookie Crisp but I'm feeling good. So I sit back and read my dailies, check my email, chat on MSN, watch the first episode of Robin Hood [I like it!], buy random shit on eBay [really have a problem here.] and all in all waste my day. Then my mom walks into my room and demands I take her shopping. I'm still in a state of "what's-going-on-here-then?" and I accept. Mainly because I had to go pick up the Wii Play I just bought off eBay anyway.

We get to the mall [Markville Mall for the locals] and I manage to find parking near the front of Pickle Barrel. As we're walking over I noticed someone wasn't so lucky and he parked on the yellow lines. Fine, I don't really give a shit. Whatever. But then some dude pulled up in Blue Cherokee and parked beside him. So basically, in the road. And He's with his girlfriend and they start walking over to the mall. Maybe he didn't notice. I decided to make sure. After all, I'm nothing if not a good, kind and helpful person.

Me - You're aware you parked in the road?
Him - *looks back at car, looks at me* So?
Me - It makes you a giant asshole. Plus, you're blocking traffic.
Him - What the f**k?
Me - Is it because you have a little penis?
Him - F**k you!
Me - It would explain the SUV.
Him - Do you have a problem?
Me - Yes. You have a small wiener and you're act like an asshole trying to make up for it. *i look at his girlfriend* *he notices*
Him - F**k you, man. What do you want.
Me - You moving your car would bring immense joy.
Him - Yea, F**K YOU! *walks away*

I wasn't offended or anything. I was feeling pretty good and our genital-deficient friend was trying to ruin that. Plus, I was in one of those moods and I had some time to kill.

I acquired mall security's phone number via my sister, who works at the mall. I called and informed them about said car then I went on a whole bitch rant about how every time I come to this mall, there is always something like this happening and it's so unsafe and security is so lax and they never do anything about these things and on and on. Eventually, I think just to get me to shut up, they sent someone out.

I watched with a certain amount of glee as they did an announcement and a few minutes later tow his car away. I wish I was there when he got back so I could explain to him what happened but I think that would be overkill and would make me seem a bit stalkerish, wouldn't it?

So, that's me story about me being a dick to someone for no reason at all. Well there was a reason. It just wasn't a good one. I was bored.


ZQ